I am a guy, I am 28, and I am a virgin. (Sounds like a support group introduction, doesn’t it?). For me it’s a mixture of choice and choicelessness. I have my standards and it is my choice not to give it up to a prostitute or some bar fly for a one night stand (I don’t drink, so I don’t go to bars anyway).

But that’s typically where the choice ends. Every time I’ve chatted with a woman, got interested, and thought about asking her out for a date I’d find out through the conversation that she already has a boyfriend or husband. And the ones I have asked out have all given me a flat refusal right away. So I’m not just a virgin, I’ve also never actually been on a date.

Being a virgin is something that I am neither proud of nor ashamed of. But it is something I’ll keep hidden because I have been ridiculed for it in the past, back when I was 19 or 20. Judging by some comments I’ve seen people make in the past (here and elsewhere) it isn’t, in a general sense, socially acceptable. And it’s even laughable when people won’t date you because you’re inexperienced, but you need to date in order get that experience.

As a side note, I’ve always found the question “why are you a virgin” akin to asking a woman, “you’re 28 [or whatever age], attractive, and successful. Why are you still single? [a.k.a. What’s wrong with you?]” But hey, there is a bright side to it all. I know for a fact that I’m clean and disease free; and I won’t have someone showing up five years later with an invitation to the Maury Show demanding a paternity test and child support.

I’m saving myself for marriage. I intend to dedicate myself body, mind, and soul to one and only one woman for the rest of my life. I intend to raise happy children in a stable home. By holding myself to this standard in a culture where promiscuity is not only accepted but expected, I am demonstrating my unwavering integrity and faithfulness to my future wife. It is my belief that this will help to foster complete trust, and therefore a deeper and more meaningful love between us. To me, marriage will be a joy.

Now, any concern of being thought of as creepy for my virginity doesn’t bother to me. After all, it would be pointless to hold myself to this standard if I wasn’t going to hold any potential dating partner to the same. Any woman who is a virgin wouldn’t think I was creepy at all. The problem is that finding such a woman in American culture is a very rare thing. Very few Americans think ahead about their lives the way that I have, and only a minority percentage of the religious types follow “old-fashioned” wisdom that would keep them straight.

Basically, my choices are to hope that I get unbelievably lucky and find a good woman here in America, lower my standards both in myself and in women until I find a common denominator, or seek out a woman from a foreign culture where chastity and monogamy are still valued. The sad thing is that this standard really isn’t very high – after all, everyone starts out with virginity, anyone could be faithful, it’s just a matter of not getting swept away by hormones and pressure – yet very few are strong or wise enough to do so. In today’s world, where does a faithful man find a good woman?