going back by going within
sometimes we don’t realize how our childhood impacts who we become, but this DailyOM article makes you reflect…
“(Healing Childhood Wounds) Events from childhood, our first experiences, have the power to shape our lives. Some do so immediately, offering us challenges to overcome and encouragement to make use of our talents and interests…Other events seem to lay dormant until adulthood, when our closest relationships help to bring out the deepest aspects of ourselves. This is when unexamined lessons can be put to use and untended childhood wounds make themselves known in a call for healing.
We may discover issues of trust coming up, or perhaps we find ourselves mirroring actions from our past instinctively. No matter the case, we have the power within us to heal ourselves at the deepest level. With the wisdom of an adult, we can be the loving parent or guardian we needed as a child. Knowing that we are each whole spiritual beings having a human experience, we can nurture ourselves from that wholeness, and then reach out to others as well. We can recreate scenarios in our mind’s eye, trying different outcomes and following them to their logical conclusions. In doing so, we may be able to imagine possible reasons a situation occurred as it did, and even accept that it could not have happened any other way. With the wisdom born from age and experience, we might be able to see events from a different perspective, bringing new understanding and freeing ourselves from any hold the past may have on us.
Life offers opportunities to clear these weeds in the gardens of our souls. However, when we want to focus on easier and more pleasant tasks, we are likely to pass up the chances, leaving the wounds to continue to drain our energy and resources for living life fully today. We might find we need support to face the events of the past, so turning to a trained professional who can offer tools for healing can be a valid choice. As long as we remember that the child we were lives on within us, we are always free to go back and right old wrongs, correct mistaken perceptions, heal wounds, forgive, and begin anew.”
when was the last time you reflected and digged deep? what did you discover about your childhood and the person you are today?
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WARNING! I’m about to open up a whole lot of truth! But I’m a very open person and I think you can handle
I’m totally an introspective person so I think about that stuff all the time.
For me, the case has always been my mom. Or… having the lack thereof. I didn’t grow up with a dad but that didn’t affect me as much as having a mom and her not really being one. She was young so I understand that she didn’t really know what to do.
She put a roof over my head, clothes on my back, sent me to school, and fed me food. But by no means was she ever there for me emotionally. She always thought I was a lesbian (which I am but didn’t really figure it out till I was 18) but the screwed up part is that she refused to tell me she loved me because she thought I would fall in love with her. Queue memory of a 12-year-old me crying and hugging my mom but she sat there staring off and didn’t hug me back or offer any kind of physical or verbal comfort.
Result? Of course! I’m a needy person, jealous, addicted to affection. I’m a poet and write songs and all that bleeding heart crap in hopes to woo and keep some other broken female lol. My priority had always been… the other person. But until recently, after being taken advantage of for the last time, I’m trying to get out of it. Its hard. I’m not sure how to go about it… and with how the economy is right now, I can’t afford to seek help. But I know I can do it.
So I’m trying to semi-isolate myself from a lot of people for a little bit to spend time with me. Learn to love myself so I won’t feel like I NEED to have someone in my life to make me happy. Which is bull! I rock! I have a great time with myself cause I’m a fucking dork. I’m random and definitely keep myself and others entertained. I get lost into making music (crappily but its fun) and making little videos (WHICH I LOVE!)
So that’s me!
Keep up what you’re doing! Its a good thing!