I’ve seen thousands of dating profiles and helped my clients craft effective profiles that make them stand out, reflect their personalities and get more results.
The constant complaint I hear from men is that they do all the work on online dating with initiating, yet they don’t get the response they want. And women complain that they are not getting contacted by quality guys.
Let me tell yah…most of the time, when I check their profile, it’s because they are making one or more major mistakes on their dating profile! No wonder why they are not getting any responses from the people they want! So let me break it down to you, the Top 3 mistakes that you should avoid for your profile:
BIG mistake #1: Bad Photos
Now, we all know how important photos are for the profile. Because when was the last time you clicked on a bad or ugly photo? Right, you wouldn’t even spend the second, let alone the day, to write or reply to some photo that you weren’t attracted to. Then how come people are not putting up good photos??
The truth is, females may take only 3-5 seconds to take a look at your photo and then decide if should read the rest of your description. Because hey, we’ve got a lot of messages to get through. And even though guys are bit more forgiving and are opportunists, they are more visual creatures so you have to have good photos!
So here comes the photos tips:
For men: I know, I know…you don’t take a lot of photos but for this, just invest a little bit of time for good photos. Everyone needs a few good photos.
*Don’t post photos of you in a tanktop or worst….shirtless. Comes off creepy.
*Don’t flex your biceps or show us your back muscles. It’s pompous and will de-tract us in a heartbeat.
*Don’t post photos with a female in the picture (it makes us wonder if that’s your ex. It’s tacky)
*Don’t post photos next to your big house or fancy sports car. Again, that comes off as pompous.
For women: I know we are really great at taking photos. Heck, we got COLLECTIONS of photos on our computer. But let me share which type of photos you shouldn’t post:
* Don’t post photos that are more than 2 years old.
* Don’t post photos which you were 20 lbs skinnier.
* Don’t post photos revealing your cleavage because that just sends guys the wrong message (unless you’re aiming for that invitation on Adult Friend Finder).
* Don’t post just one photo. People like to see different angles and variation.
Alright, I’ve shared some great photos tips with you. If you want to get great photos taken of you and learn the DOs of profile photos, come to my Dating Profile Makeover Workshop on 1/31.
Okae, onwards to BIG mistake #2: Not writing enough
This is the thing, if we’re reading your profile and it looks like you didn’t spend any time on presenting yourself, then why would we invest time in you? Think of it like it’s your resume, except this is a lot more fun and you’ll get dates out of it. Now, you would put in some effort to present yourself well in your resume right? Same thing with your dating profile. Take time to reflect on ‘who you really are’, ‘what makes you unique’.
BIG mistake #3: Lack of your personality
Okae, among the among the vast sea of profiles, there’s yours. But does your profile reflect your unique personality? Because that is what will hook the person into replying. You gotta think of your dating profile as your resume. Employers get thousands of resumes and if your resume isn’t unique or highlighting great qualifications, it gets tossed to the recycle bin (since we’re eco-friendly here).
So here are a couple of tips:
* Write in your personal voice, as if you’re blogging. When people come across your profile, they want to relate/connect to some part of you beyond the 2 dimensional page. So write in your human voice.
* What specific details I can share? Because you can tell the difference between ‘I love to play golf’ vs. ‘My shining time is when I’m on the grass with my golf club”
So, my question to you is…how will you stand out?
With the tips from this article, that should give you a great start. To get great photos of yourself and work on a killer dating profile, then come to my workshop on 1/31. We’ll take great photos of you and you’ll get special hands-on work on your profile.
If you’re interested in the video of this workshop, please contact me.
No related posts.
Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.
Tags:
DATING
Posted on: 12 January 2010
i think something is missing in that part
*Don’t post photos with a female in the picture (it makes
Anyway i think that most common mistake in online dating is being toooo flat. When i see people what they like to do is: hanging out with friends, watching tv and listening music; in that moment i have a feeling that i have to click this irresistible X button in top right corner.
And i dont even look on profiles whiteout photos coz i assume this person has something to hide or is just lazy didnt postin a picture.
Than i hate to see girls with a guys on the pictures. If its one that might be ok. But better not. If i see attractive women with same guy on 3 photos i assume that guy might be her bf or something like that.
exactly.
flat= standard = easily overlooked
Good topic! I was asking you about this vis email once!
Where is your workshop going to be? I clicked through link and didn’t see it.
Chris
hey v’star chris,
the workshop will be in the south bay and the exact location will be revealed to those who register.
hello Vanie,
I notice you will have a workshop saturday Feb 20th I wsa wondering where yur workshop will be ocated at will it be in pala alto or somewhere else in south bay?
Matt
hola,
it’s actually taking place on SUNDAY, JANUARY 31st in the south bay. as mentioned above, the exact location will be revealed to those who register.
hope to see you there!
I’ve noticed alot of middle aged women don’t post
any pictures at all. Yes, its been said that guys are visual, but I think they do themselves a misjustice. Maybe they don’t have any recent photos, gained a few pounds, and think most guys want those anerexic stick skinny Cosmo model types.
But let me tell you I DO NOT!! Im in the Sir Mix-Alot club. I like my women THICK, with alot of junk in the trunk! The perfect measurements for me are 36-22-42,and most guys I know agree! So ladies get dolled up, post a pic, and let the REAL guys decide what looks good not Cosmo!
Great stuff Vanae! Awesome tips. My facebook seems to get a lot of women interested and I’ll bet it’s because I was unconsciously doing the things you recommend here. Love what ur doing!
After checking out pics, the thing I scan for is sentence structure.
Most women start every sentence with “I …..”
I like the beach. I am looking for… I would like to meet… I am tired of men who…. etcetera.
To me, this comes off as lazy and unimaginative. Just another chick who is totally self-absorbed.
How much trouble is it to put some thought into your self-presentation? Ultimately, we are all seeking a companion who offers us value. By focusing on I-me-mine, you come off as a value taker.