Did you just got out of a long term relationship?
Been single for sometime and deciding whether you’re ready for something more committal?
At the fork in the road and deciding with path to take?
You know, we’ve all been in one or more of these scenarios and then comes the question: Do I want to be single?
I came across a DailyOM article on this very topic. And yes, everyone has their own definition of ‘being single’. Mine is: not dating someone exclusively. I believe it starts off as a conscious decision and then we make the moves in its direction. For me, I choose to be single because I know exactly what I’m looking for and will hold out until my right match comes along. A serious relationship requires much attention, dedication and effort so I don’t believe in settling for less than perfect compatibility. What about you? Let me know what you think of the the article below.
Here’s the great DailyOM article: The Ways We Love
Choosing to Have a Mate or Being Single
“The way we choose to love can be as unique as the way we choose to make a living, maintain our health, or entertain ourselves. Some choose to seek out a mate and enter into a partnership with a special individual, while others find immense satisfaction in staying single. There is no right or wrong way to be in your life when it comes to deciding whether or not to be in a relationship, even though society tends to put an emphasis on romantic partnerships. Whether you choose to go through life as part of a romantic relationship or live as a single unit, there are benefits to both. Feel free to be comfortable with whatever choice is right for you.
Choosing to be single is a wonderful way to spend time discovering yourself. You have more time and space to figure out what and how you want your life to be without having to keep someone else’s choices in mind. Being single gives you the freedom to do what you want at a moment’s notice and the pride that comes with facing life on your own terms. Companionship, support, and affection can be found while spending quality time with friends, colleagues, and relatives….
Remember that what is right for one person may not be right for another, and people can transition between wanting to be with another person and wanting to be alone many times over the course of their lives. Whether you seek out a mate or live the single life, embracing it fully will ensure that either choice is as fulfilling as possible for you. “
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Posted on: 04 January 2009
A good piece. Thanks for sharing it. I’d highlight the truth that there’s no right or wrong way to be in your life — besides the way that you find that fits you. Besides the positives they can bring, it’s sometimes friends, colleagues and relatives who (often with good intentions) make searching for our own way more difficult by making us believe we should all be in a relationship.
exact-o-mundo david!
thanks for sharing.
vanae
Choosing, or being single, is not as much of a kind of taboo in society like it used to be. The single population seems to be getting higher.
You’re right, everyone may indeed, I believe, have their own definition of what being single means. I think what works for the person, is what works. If that’s being single, then great.
There are some pretty good sites/blogs around that give fantastic insight about the single world like: http://singletude.blogspot.com/ and http://onely.org/
hey bobby,
i’ll have to check out those blogs!
V
Bobby! Where have you been? Thanks for the plug!
Christina
The article is pro single. The writer seems to be talking their self into how great being single is. I’m single. Being single is definitely more care free than being in a relationship.
It is interesting how “care free” is easy when there is no one you choose to care about.
It is more interesting how “care free” you feel when you are with someone you love.
very true. being carefree and with someone you’re interested in, it’s the best feeling ever!
Happy New Year’s! it’s almost a year since i first clicked on to one of your works, and i have to say that you’ve been a great influence to a new me. 2008 was a year of confusion, loss & gain, and search for love (in various dimensions) and i was very lucky to get to see you through the web right at this time. yet… i’m still a hopeless romantic. anyways, keep warm and wish you all the best!
aww thanks kei!
happy new year to you as well!!!!
I find that the grass is always greener on the other side…
When I’m single, sure, it’s liberating and fun sometimes, but often I just want to be in a relationship!
And then when I’m in a relationship, on the other hand, it’s hard not to want to scratch that “single itch” again!
hey finley!!
welcome welcome!
isn’t it funny how we are sometimes with this ‘grass is greener’. but i think if you’re in a healthy relationship, you probably won’t be peeking over to the other pasture.
=)
I’ve been single for 3 years. I’m holding out for someone that will be right for me. And its remarkably hard with all the pressures from friends. I’m amazed how many of my friends are like “just do it! Just date them! Just have a one night stand!” And I can’t ever do that. I end up getting attached and stay. Then I’m in a relationship I’m not truly happy in. Its unnecessary drama. People are like “why on earth are you still single?! You’re a sweetheart!” I’m picky! I have certain standards that I consider fairly easy but amazingly a lot of people don’t grasp these qualities. Living on a small island doesn’t help things either. So I figure that I might as well stick out and remain single until I get off this island to place I’ll settle in. Ideally, I want to travel while I can and study/work as much as I can before finding someone so there isn’t a lot of separation anxiety. Still it sucks when those bouts of loneliness rear its ugly head.
good for you girl!! hold on to your standards! hold out for quality.
=)
happy new year sweetie!
V
Applause Cassi!!!
Very well put! I think you said it best!!! Stick to your guns, I have mass respect for that.
Great topic V. I am a single chap myself by choice. I took myself out of the game some time ago. I don’t put much thought into wanting to be in a relationship, and I don’t ponder on “what I could be missing out on.” I’m not particularly happy persay by being single, it just makes sence to be… Although I have alot of positive personal traits about me, and I like to think I’m a relativly good guy, I don’t see the point in inviting someone into my already hectic and somewhat stressfull world.
Hey being single kicks the crap out of being like my codependent bestie…. LOL she’s a mess!