Awesome Chris, my designer, is in town so I’ve been busy showing him around. Admiring the beautiful bay, walking across the Golden Gate Bridge, the uniqueness of this melting pot. It’s nice to re-appreciate your area when a visitor is in town and you’re discovering your city all over again. And introducing yummy ethnic foods that are first-times for him (he’s from Germany). So we’ve had sushi, wonderful thai food, vietnamese pho and will be taking him to Ethiopian! So that’s a quick update of what I’ve been up to…
So now, I present another round of GAME DAE WEDNESDAE!
Survey: Do you find it refreshing when a female initiates? Or does it come off too strong or desperate? Or should males still do the chivalry work?
V’stars, I wanna hear it directly from you!
Basically, should females initiate? Lady v’stars, do you like to initiate? Thoughts?
I hear people say..”Women are complicated and men are so simple.” Women and men’s style of communication is very differently, heck, everyone communicates different as individuals. We want answers right now, while men can be more patient. Also, women typically don’t want to be confrontational, so we won’t ask you up front…but ask you questions to get clues instead. You know, a great book that breaks this down is ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”.
For Game Dae Wednesdae-
Ever wonder what he/she really meant? For this week’s game activity, we’re going to involve the V’star community to help decipher messages. Share something that the opposite sex says so that V’stars can shine some light on what he/she meant. For example:
What does she truly mean by saying, “I think we should be friends”?
Translation: “Nopes. You’re not the one for me and I can’t imagine us getting along romantically. We might end up as friends, but I can’t guarantee we’ll still be in contact.”
What does he truly mean by saying, “I’m emotionally unavailable” or “I’m not ready for a relationship right now.” Guys, share your interpretation.
Let’s demystify what the opposite sex is saying by start asking:
“What does she/he truly mean by saying ____________________________”
Many of you have been asking me ‘How do I get your E’book: Fuck Her, Fuck Him?’. Simple! You can pre-order it for $15 by submitting payment through my paypal (vanaetran@gmail.com).
I’ve decided to add more chapters to the E’book so it’s going to be released a bit later. It’s going to be well-worth it!!
Here’s my newest Vanae.com Show episode on:
Declaring 2009 as YEAR OF YOU
Women, Sexuality & Respect
In the last 2 weeks, you’ve been requesting this topic: ‘Should I go for my friend’s ex?’. This is very tricky area! Personally, I don’t believe in sloppy seconds and plus my girlfriends and I have very different taste in men. Hence, I will never venture into jeopardizing my friendship with any of my girlfriends. Love interests are a dime in a dozen!
You wouldn’t want to jeopardize your friendship. Let me tell yah…most people you are/will be interested in are not worth messing up your friendship… UNLESS you truly believe he/she is really THE ONE.
Here’s what you do:
1. Weigh out the consequences. How close are you with that friend? Is it worth it? If so…
2. Out of respect: Talk to your friend about how she/he feels about you dating their ex
3. Once you get ‘approval’, then go for it!
4. Keep in mind, that even if your friend gives the green light, that doesn’t mean your interest will reciprocate the feelings
What do you think? Have you dated a friend’s ex?
Vanae’s tip of the dae: Friendships (especially close friendships), lasts a lot longer than love interests! So give it much thought and consideration and be sure to talk to your friend before charting in nasty territory!
I believe there are generally three types of guys:
1) passive 2) assertive 3) asshole
WE DON’T dig assholes (no pun intended..or is that really a pun?). We want REAL MEN! Individuals who are assertive, confident, strong (inner and outer), communicative, gentlemanly, exciting, unpredictable and make women feel wanted!
What we DON’T want (just as men wouldn’t either):
To be disrespected, smothered, overpowered, or mistreated.
Quality women know how to identify REAL MEN from ASSHOLES. And if she’s truly dating an asshole, then she’s probably not the person you want to date in the first place. Look, nice/passive guys don’t necessarily finish last..but assertive guys definitely finish before them. That’s because these men go for what they want.
So the real question is: How do you become more assertive?
1. Know your strengths
Spend time to reflect on what your strengths are and present those qualities.
2. Live it up!
The more passionate you are..the more traveled.. the more rounded you are, the more you’ll naturally have to talk about. You’ll come off as interesting and bound to have good conversations.
3. Follow through
If you think, feel, or plan something…make sure you complete it! No half-assed-ness!
4. Keep it light…enjoy yourself
Don’t sabotage yourself with lots of pressure. Think of it as meeting a new friend and keep it light. If it goes well, then great. If it doesn’t, no sweat off your back.
5. Say NO!
No need to always agree or give in because you think that’s what he/she wants.
6. Take charge!
How is a female supposed to know that you’re interested if you don’t flirt with her and ask her out? She might be feeling the same!
7. Be true to yourself
Why mold yourself into someone you’re not? Be genuine and make decisions based on your gut feelings.
Did you find these effective? What are some of your tips that worked well? I would love to hear them! As always, thanks for being my V’stars!
Vanae’s tip of the dae: When someone offends you, learn from it. Ever feel offended by someone’s comment or response to you? Sure, it’s natural to feel hurt…but step back and reflect. It’s not what he/she did, but what you can gain from it..whether it makes you stronger, changes you for the better, or solidifies even more so what you already stand for. Remember… you can turn anything negative into something positive!
