How did you celebrate your New Year’s Eve? I was disco-dancing with my good friends in SF. It was a super dance.a.thon!
You guys have written in, called in and connected with me and I HEARD YAH!
With this new year, there’s going to be great changes to my YouTube show and to Vanae.com. (Especially more advice for my lady V’stars). My new video coming tomorrow!
Here’s some red goodness for your New Year’s celebration: Elmo the PIMP
Love yah,
Vanae
You’re hollow. You’re feeling unsure and naked…the walls that were protecting you, are gone. This is what you’re experiencing when you’re feeling vulnerable. It happens when you develop feelings for someone, meet someone new and open up your heart. This especially applies to people who have ‘control issues’. Trust me, I know what you’re going through. Every person feels vulnerable at many points in their lives. It’s natural. Here’s how to deal with it:
1. It’s OK!
If that person is worth it, accept the feeling.
2. Take a deep breath and let go of the fear.
Don’t sabotage yourself or the relationship with your overthinking. You don’t want to hold yourself back from something that could be incredible!
3.The only way to find out to LIVE and LEARN
The only way to find out is to go all the way and learn from it. No matter how you’re tempted to put your walls up again, DON’T! Allow yourself to feel.
4. Don’t share your insecurities with him/her
Communication is great but this doesn’t mean you have to share every deep insecurity. So share your thoughts and concerns to improve your relationship/communication. Just don’t tell him/her about all your insecurities because it’ll put you at a disadvantage.
5. Have faith and trust
Know that all this happens for a reason and you can choose to trust that it’ll run it’s course and you’ll gain from this experience.
Vanae’s tip of the dae: It’s natural to feel vulnerable, so allow yourself to feel the emotions. Think of yourself as an animal, shedding your outer layer during the right season. You may be vulnerable for a short time, but will develop a stronger and more beautiful shell at the end. It’ll be worth the investment.
How did you deal with the last time you felt vulnerable?
This is the first part of my video series, Ultimate Guide to Online Dating, where I demystify online dating and give you the advantage to set you apart from others. Email me ayvanae@gmail.com if you want help for a killer profile and get you some dates! I recommend browsing these online dating sites:
Growing up in a Vietnamese family, we rarely had turkey for Thanksgiving. Instead, my mom would bust out my favorite Vietnamese dishes and lots of seafood. Personally, I prefer seafood over turkey ANYDAY! This year, my mum made fantastic lobster, banh xeo (vietnamese crepe), and steak. Yummified.
Here’s a photo of my mum’s lobster creation. Yes, it was as good as it looks.
My mum makes the best food!
In spirit of Thanksgiving, I want to see pictures or hear about your non/traditional foods and activities you do with your family!
Here’s a sexy track for your holiday time and HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
Vanae’s album of the week: KINGS OF LEON! Sex and passion so good that it burns into your mind. This track ‘sex on fire’ is HOT! So is the rest of the album. If you haven’t gotten it, what are you waiting for? To hear more of Kings of Leon, click
We all been been-there-done-this! I know I went through one 4 years ago and came out of it stronger and here to share my experience. Unhealthy relationships are usually with the one we fell flat-on-our-face-for. So intense that you lose yourself! But you need to recognize the damage before becoming handicapped.
Signs that your relationship is unhealthy:
1. Your significant other is the only person you hang out with
2. You flake out on people & responsibilities to spend more time with your gf/bf
3. There’s abuse (mental, verbal, physical, emotional) from either sides
4. You have no support system besides him/her
5. Deep down, you feel like you’ve lost yourself
6. You’re constantly disappointed
7. There’s constant jealousy and no trust
8. He/she restricts you (hanging out with certain people, goals)
Get out of there as soon as possible, or you’ll build up so much resentment that you’ll explode! If you do, it’ll be too late to salvage a friendship.
Gain a healthy relationship through:
A. Balance
She/he can be an important part of your life, but not what your life is all about. You need to balance your time, priorities, wants, needs and self.
B. Communication
Don’t let things bottle up inside. Be sure to communicate effectively to improve your connection. If you there’s something bothering you, then tell her/him that.
C. Understanding
Take the time to listen and understand where she/he is coming from. This will help with patience and it’ll strengthen your bond. She/he will feel like they can open up to you.
D. Independence
A person who can hold their own (opinion, goals, thoughts, social life) shows independence. No one wants a super slingy person.
When did you realize it was an unhealthy relationship? How did you get out of it?
Vanae’s tip of the dae: Don’t go too fast. You’ll crash your heart! Take your time and pay attention to those red and yellow lights. You’ll save yourself some heartache.
You’ve got that hot female on your mind. Or the classmate you’ve been eyeing for some time. Or what about the woman you met online. Grab your mojo! Here’s a simple guide to ask your crush out!..because how are you going to be in a good relationship, if you haven’t gone out on a date yet?!
Let’s change that baby! Even if you’re shy, you can get over it by reading this first!
1. Build connection
Let him/her get to know your great personality so he/she can be drawn to you. You’ll increase your chances once you have a connection.
2. Remember what she/he likes
Did she mention her favorite food? Or an activity he hasn’t tried? Or music that they like? Be intuitive so you have date suggestions that he/she will be into.
3. Confidence
Know your strong qualities and know that you’re a good catch.
4. Your approach
Depending where you met her/him…at school? at work? at the local starbucks? or online?..
Classmate- talk in person
Met online- call or email
At her workplace- talk in person
5. Ice breaker then the question
Follow-up on a point of your previous conversation or give her a compliment. Then mention, something along the lines of, ‘Remember we talked about _______. Let’s go to _____________ next week. What do you think about ___(suggest a day).’ This shows that you are assertive and you’re giving a suggestion, not a question.
6. Confirm the date
Call or email that person the day before to confirm pickup or meet-up location.
7. Remember!
Not every person is going to be your match, so don’t take it personal if she/he is not up for the date. There’s tons of great people out there for you. And if that person is a flake, then don’t overthink it. You want to invest your time in people who are mature and will appreciate you and your time!
LET ME KNOW HOW IT GOES!
Vanae’s tip of the dae: Spread the word of goodness. Has my advice helped you? If you know a friend who needs dating/love/life advice, recommend & encourage your friend to subscribe at vanae.com.
