Recently, I was talking to a friend who’s in a relationship, which he knew it wasn’t going to last long-term. She’s a good person, but she wasn’t the right one for him. Sad part is…she has no idea.
People are in denial about their feelings. The line gets blurred between being dishonest of where the relationship is going versus just being complacent to see where it flows. If anytime you’re in a relationship and it dawns on you that it won’t work out long term, you need to be honest with your partner. Last thing you want to do is lead your partner on, causing more pain (than you were hoping to avoid).
Now, if your partner knows the certainty or uncertainty of a long term relationship, then at least they can make that decision to stay or accept that it’s a short-term thing. Otherwise, it’s leaving your partner in the dark and keeping that person in your life in selfishness.
It’s one thing, when both people have decided to enjoy and live out the fun relationship even if it’s short term. It’s another thing, when one person knows it’s going to end soon, yet leads the other person on.
Think about this: What if the roles were reversed? Would you want the other person to let you know if s/he knew it wasn’t going to work out long term?
Vanae’s tip of the dae: Be true to your partner, but more importantly…true to yourself. Be with someone you really care for, not just for the sake of being with someone. I’d rather be happily alone than lead someone on.
V’stars, have you been on either sides of this situation? How did it turn out?
Okae, this applies to men as well. But a VERY COMMON issue men bring up to me about relationship is: insecurity. Sometimes, our emotions are so intense that we just don’t know how to deal with the feelings towards our significant other. Often times channeling this intensity and coming off as overbearing, insecure and sometimes, just crazy.
Other times, it has to do with our deep-rooted issue of trust, childhood and low self-esteem. Which takes patience to help address and might even need professional counseling to uncover. Other times, that person is just too damn irrational and imbalanced, that it’s not even worth yo’ time.
But seriously ladies: being insecure and being skeptical will only drive him away. Be patient. He doesn’t have to tell you or do it right at the exact moment you want to hear it. Have trust in him. Know that he’s with you for good reason…he’s wise enough to recognize that you’re hot commodity. And if he treats you any less than that, leave him.
At the same time..
Men: You don’t realize that it only takes very simple things to reassure your lady and keep her happy. All you have to do is ask her “what can i do make you feel better?” and give us verbal compliments/confirmation.
That’s it. Direct. We give you answers to exactly what’ll make things better. Voila!
Okae, here’s a funny and sorta exaggerated video of how insecure girlfriends act, but it should be an eye-opener to see it from an outside perspective.
V’stars, let me know which moment in this video that you can relate to (either you had your ex/gf do that, or you’ve said some of it yourself)
You know how we tend to turn to our close friends to talk about intimate and interesting topics?
Recently, a male friend and I have been spending a great deal of time having in-depth conversations about dating and love. But the 2 topics we spent a lot of time chatting about was:
1. Attraction- What does this truly mean? How can one enhance their attractiveness?
2. Formulas- Is there a formula to true love? Meaning, if you have x, y, z ingredients, can that equate to LOVE?
This made me curious about all the conversations that take place around the world among friends, about dating & love. So..Game Dae Wednesdae…
What was the most recent dating-related topic or problem you talked to your friend(s) about? Did you come up with a resolution?
Let’s continue those discussions with our V’stars here!
