You’ve got that hot female on your mind. Or the classmate you’ve been eyeing for some time. Or what about the woman you met online. Grab your mojo! Here’s a simple guide to ask your crush out!..because how are you going to be in a good relationship, if you haven’t gone out on a date yet?!
Let’s change that baby! Even if you’re shy, you can get over it by reading this first!
1. Build connection
Let him/her get to know your great personality so he/she can be drawn to you. You’ll increase your chances once you have a connection.
2. Remember what she/he likes
Did she mention her favorite food? Or an activity he hasn’t tried? Or music that they like? Be intuitive so you have date suggestions that he/she will be into.
3. Confidence
Know your strong qualities and know that you’re a good catch.
4. Your approach
Depending where you met her/him…at school? at work? at the local starbucks? or online?..
Classmate- talk in person
Met online- call or email
At her workplace- talk in person
5. Ice breaker then the question
Follow-up on a point of your previous conversation or give her a compliment. Then mention, something along the lines of, ‘Remember we talked about _______. Let’s go to _____________ next week. What do you think about ___(suggest a day).’ This shows that you are assertive and you’re giving a suggestion, not a question.
6. Confirm the date
Call or email that person the day before to confirm pickup or meet-up location.
7. Remember!
Not every person is going to be your match, so don’t take it personal if she/he is not up for the date. There’s tons of great people out there for you. And if that person is a flake, then don’t overthink it. You want to invest your time in people who are mature and will appreciate you and your time!
LET ME KNOW HOW IT GOES!
Vanae’s tip of the dae: Spread the word of goodness. Has my advice helped you? If you know a friend who needs dating/love/life advice, recommend & encourage your friend to subscribe at vanae.com.
You never know what you have in common with someone until you open up. Last night, I called back one my v’stars (subscribers) because he wanted some advice. In the course of our conversation, I found out that we both related on something deep: our loss of a father and brother.
Had he not reached out to me, i would never discovered this. Many people don’t know about my loss. Those who do, are surprised because I’m an optimistic person and wouldn’t think I have tough times. But everyone has their pains and obstacles. I did and do. I accepted the pain. I chose to not let that control my life. I chose to LIVE LIFE FOR THEM. You might not be able to stop bad things from happening to you, but you always have to choice on how to deal with it. Open up.
It was the first time that I met someone I could relate to about my dad and brother. It was a rush of emotions and IT FELT GREAT. We had an hour conversation about reading, the challenges and the current journey dealing with loss. As much as he thought I helped him, he also helped me.
What I’ve learned about getting closer to closure:
1. Don’t keep things bottled up
If you do, it’ll explode just like a volcano. Open to someone, whether it be a close one, a professional (therapist) or me. You’ll feel a substanial release and learn more about yourself
2. Express
Document what you are going through by writing or drawing. Write down your thoughts every day, so that you can reflect back and see your changes. Be proud of how you’ve progressed. If you’re more of a visual person, then draw!
3. Accept the pain and loss
Whether it’s a death or a break-up, dealing with loss is a process: accepting, dealing, awareness, open, and being positive
Vanae’s tip of the dae: – Reach out and open up about your deepest thoughts and sorrow, you’ll never know how someone can connect with you. This will help provide closure for you.
How did you deal with loss? Who did you open up to?
Vanae’s album of the week: Timeless by Sergio Mendes
You can check it out here:
Sergio Mendes is one of the classics of bossa nova (Brazilian Samba Jazz). This album is a fabulous modern hip hop twist to bossa nova classics! It’s great music to boost up your mood, feel appreciative or to contemplate to.
my roommate and i watched a tv commercial tonight about some random cereal. cereal is getting so modern nowadays like tony the tiger getting ‘hip wid it’ on his rad skateboard. we laid back on our worn-in beige couch and reminisced about our favorite cereal when we were kids. my favorite cereal was kellogg’s corn pops and lucky charms. i love it when the colorful lucky charm marshmellows puff-up, floats and turn my milk purple. my roommate was trying to recall ..sugar….something..with the bear…there was a bear…we googled it..and it was ‘sugar crisp’. ahhh yes!
when you think about cereal, doesn’t it trigger good childhood memories?
everyday, it’s good to stop in your ‘adult tracks’ to tap into your youth again. so forget your stressful day. forget your adult responsibilities for one sec. improve the relationship with your young self again:
1) what is your favorite childhood cereal? do you have a particular memory about it?
share it with me or share a conversation with your friend. see where the talk takes you. i bet you’ll discover your friend’s interesting memories and perhaps find lost memories of your own.
2) get your favorite ice cream the next time the ice cream man rolls around
i always got the ‘strawberry shortcake bar’. my brother and i used to share a ‘teenage mutant ninja turtle’ ice cream. but i always saved the turtle’s bubble gum eyes for him. i believe all ice cream (vegan, natural or conventional) is magical in uplifting your mood.
3) spend at least 1-2 hours with a child (your daughter, nephew, children hospital…)
children’s laughter is the ultimate eraser of an adult’s worries at the moment. it’s so wonderful how innocent and happy children are. how can you not feel youthful around energy like this?
4) put on your favorite songlist and sing and dance as if your life depended on it
is it a tina turner song? how about that tu pac song? or…abba’s dancing queen tune that triggers great memories for you? do it up! you’ll kick up a sweat and smile so much. i know i do!
what was the last thing you did that made you feel young again?
