Remember this applies to your best friend situation if they are single. If your BFF is dating someone, then don’t chance it by having the conversation. Could get awkward.
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Recently, I was talking to a friend who’s in a relationship, which he knew it wasn’t going to last long-term. She’s a good person, but she wasn’t the right one for him. Sad part is…she has no idea.
People are in denial about their feelings. The line gets blurred between being dishonest of where the relationship is going versus just being complacent to see where it flows. If anytime you’re in a relationship and it dawns on you that it won’t work out long term, you need to be honest with your partner. Last thing you want to do is lead your partner on, causing more pain (than you were hoping to avoid).
Now, if your partner knows the certainty or uncertainty of a long term relationship, then at least they can make that decision to stay or accept that it’s a short-term thing. Otherwise, it’s leaving your partner in the dark and keeping that person in your life in selfishness.
It’s one thing, when both people have decided to enjoy and live out the fun relationship even if it’s short term. It’s another thing, when one person knows it’s going to end soon, yet leads the other person on.
Think about this: What if the roles were reversed? Would you want the other person to let you know if s/he knew it wasn’t going to work out long term?
Vanae’s tip of the dae: Be true to your partner, but more importantly…true to yourself. Be with someone you really care for, not just for the sake of being with someone. I’d rather be happily alone than lead someone on.
V’stars, have you been on either sides of this situation? How did it turn out?
I’m sure everyone has heard of or read the book, The Game by Neil Strauss. There’s mixed feelings about this book. Some consider it as the male’s bible to dating, confidence and social interactions. Others consider the Book of Douchebagery. This book depicts Neil’s journey into the Seduction Community and Pick Up Artist Community.
Curious, what do you think of The Game?
Of course, I have thoughts about The Game and the PUA community but I’ll share them on an upcoming Vanae.com Show episode.
So, what are your thoughts on The Game? Be honest. I’d love to hear it.
Many of you have been there since the very beginning: when Vanae.com was just a personal journal and I was experimenting with different styles for my early webshow videos. It has developed into our thriving V’star community and I am extremely fortunate that my coaching has helped thousands and thousands across the globe. Then there are v’stars who joined pretty recently, welcome welcome! Well, it’s been an incredible year of 2009 and I wanted to thank you all for being on this journey and evolving with me. Creating this best-of list, I realized I’ve shared and done a lot. Experienced a big year but even more excited about this new year! Here, I share the best-of topics, articles and games we’ve played in 2009!
I want to share V’star Aaron’s story on how he was liberated after listening to my advice and confronting the flakey girl in his life:
So just wanted to tell you this story that I hope your other Vstars will relate to
I had this flakey girl that I was totally into. She worked at my job and for whatever reason I was attracted to (can’t always explain attraction in logical terms)
Anyway, I had hung out with her a few times but noticed that she wasn’t returning my phone calls. I confronted her about this head on about a call she did not return where i invited her to meet me for an art walk (she likes to paint). Basically, I told her “This is a HUGE turn off for me. I have my job and school which keeps my life occupied and i don’t have time for social games”. After she said, oh I’m not playing games, sorry you feel that way…I continued
“this has been a pattern and its a pattern I’m sick of being in.” after that she responded “well maybe its best if we are friends” which at this point i calmly stated “you know, i don’t think that’s going to work for me” after she asked why i said…”i’m not looking for a friend, and if i was, i would want one who would return my calls”.
It felt so liberating!!! Please guys, confront the situation head on….you will feel so much better and confident in the end. KNOW YOUR WORTH!
V’stars, if you’re in this situation, you know what to do. For those who been there and liberated, what did you do and how did it feel?
You feel a soft shock everytime, doesn’t matter who.
Doesn’t matter how deep.
Every ending sends a soft shock.
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This is the feeling after a breakup, break off or let down.
V’stars, curious of what your ‘moment after dawn’ song is? You know…the song that capsulates how you freshly feel afterwards.
This new episode of Vanae.com is a response to Qaadir on knowing your worth and putting your foot down when someone is not treating you right. Ladies and gents, never put up with someone’s bs in hopes that they will reciprocate or like you. If they recognize how great of a catch you are, they wouldn’t be treating you like that in the first place.
You are hot commodity. You have outstanding qualities. So save them for someone who deserves it.
V’stars, what do you think?
Vanae’s tip of the dae: If that person stood-you up even once, that’s where you draw the line. If the person wants to reschedule, be straight up and tell him that he needs to work for it to earn a hangout with you! Let them work for it. And when I say work for it, I mean, work FOR IT! Scheduling the next hangout, planning it from A-Z, confirm with you and go the whole nine yards. If anything less than that, Fuck ‘em. There’s too many other hot commodities out there, don’t waste your time with sub-par peeps.
