“If today is the day you will take your destiny into your hands, you will soon discover that you hold the keys of fate.”- Unknown
If there is anything my friends and family know me as, it’s: I seize opportunities and make shit happen! I’ve been the biggest advocate of finding your own voice, carving your own path that’s authentic to you, making your own destiny, and become the biggest learner of life.
As young people survive the recession, we realized that any job or materialistic satisfaction can diminish at any moment. This brought on a turn of realization for our generation: If we can lose our job at any moment, then why not do what we truly want to do? Live life to how we want to?
So many young people are questioning how they were spending their time (work, family, etc) and explore where their passion really lies. Especially, in the last 2 years, individuals were looking for new jobs in industry they always wanted to do. Moving to new cities, states and countries to revitalize their life. Some going to school to advance in the direction they’ve always dreamed of. Others, quit to travel and live life. Mostly, re-evaluating a meaningful life, change and reducing the materialistic indulgence that really doesn’t matter in the long run. I know I did! It was refreshing.
This blog post was inspired by DailyOm blog post below (exploring passion and breaking down time constraints):
How we utilize that time is consequently one of the most important decisions we make. Yet it is far too easy to put off until tomorrow what we are dreaming of today. The hectic pace of modern existence affords us an easy out; we shelve our aspirations so we can cope more effectively with the challenges of the present, ostensibly to have more time and leisure to realize our purpose in the future. Or we tell ourselves that we will chase our dreams someday once we have accomplished other lesser goals. In truth, it is our fear that keeps us from seeking fulfillment in the here and now—because we view failure as a possibility, our reasons for delaying our inevitable success seem sound and rational. If we ask ourselves what we are really waiting for, however, we discover that there is no truly compelling reason why we should put off the pursuit of the dreams that sustain us.
When regarded as a question, “Why not now?” drains us of our power to realize our ambitions. We are so concerned with the notion that we are somehow undeserving of happiness that we cannot see that there is much we can do in the present to begin courting it. Yet when we look decisively at our existence and state, “Why not now, indeed!” we are empowered to begin changing our lives this very moment. We procrastinate for many reasons, from a perceived lack of time to a legitimate lack of self-belief, but the truth of the matter is that there is no time like the present and no time but the present. Whatever we aim to accomplish, we will achieve it more quickly and with a greater degree of efficiency when we seize the day and make the most of the resources we have at our disposal presently.
All the joy, passion, and contentment you can envision can be yours right now, rather than in some far-flung point in time. You need only remind yourself that there is nothing standing between you and fulfillment. If you decide that today is the day you will take your destiny into your hands, you will soon discover that you hold the keys of fate.
What will you do in your life NOW that you know you can?
Two of my favorite gifts of all times are these journals pictured above (given to me by my best friend and ex-boyfriend, ET). I’ve been ‘journaling’ most of my life and love reading through them from time to time to see my growth and re-live memories. I can tell yah, the journal entries from high school (dating, family, school, identity, growing into a woman)…it was a deep time. It’s so great to read how I’ve evolved since then.
I always recommend journaling (on paper or private blogs) for my clients and V’stars because it helps uncover deep, rooted issues, captures your true feelings with free flow writing.
With technology and the internets, now I journal my thoughts onto blogs. In a way, this blog is part of the journey of documenting thoughts, experiences and growth along with you. Here’s a great excerpt from DailyOM on “Journaling as Meditation-Mapping the Inner Journey”:
In working through challenges, it can be helpful to first empty all worries from our heads onto the safe pages of our journal. Fears can be brought to light rather than allowing them to haunt the dark corners of our subconscious. We may even feel heaviness dissipate once our heads are free from clutter, leaving space for inspiration and the creation of positive images in their place. Often in the process of writing out all the details of an event that troubles us, something that had been forgotten will come to the surface, providing a missing piece of the puzzle. Then we can truly begin to come up with answers, and write them down beside the worries to map the way from concern to constructive thought.
V’stars, do you journal? Take a picture of your journal and send to ayvanae@gmail.com. I’ll post it below. If you don’t journal, Vanae’s tip of the dae, START TODAE! Either in a notebook or a private blog, for starters, jot down:
what’s on your mind?
why you’re feeling that way?
what you think is causing it?
and what you’ve learned?
IT’S GOOD FOR THE SOUL.
V’star Martin’s Journal and bits of my life
V’star Samuel’s “Journal/planner/personal development/a whole bunch of shit” 
V’star Ricardo’s journals
With my birthday around the corner, I have been thinking of how time whizzes by. Often times because we’re moving so fast, it’s easy to skim past everything, losing depth. But in order to live a life of substance and feel complete, it is essential to be conscious and take charge. Here is a re-post of a great DailyOM article, “Staying Conscious”. These great points are absolutely true to become a more fulfilled human being as we grow older:
1. Live simply and live deliberately. By choosing not to get caught up in the details of this fast-paced world, you are doing your part to slow down the . You will also discover that you have more time to enjoy being alive.
2. Stay in touch with yourself. Soul searching, meditation, and journaling are just a few of the many activities you can take part in to stay aware and learn as much as you can about your emotions, reactions, likes, dislikes, dreams, and fears. Having a solid sense of self gives you a firm foundation for living in this world.
3. Support or teach others as often as you can. This can help you form connections with people while also giving you an opportunity to make the world a better place.
4. Consciously choose what you will allow into your being. The media bombards us with visions of hate, war, and pain. Be judicious about what you read, watch, and listen to.
5. Acknowledge the beauty that resides around you. Whether you live in a sprawling metropolis or a stereotypical suburb, there are natural and man-made wonders just waiting to be discovered by you.
6. Nurture your ties to your tribe. If you don’t have one, create a community that you can belong to. Modern life can be isolating. When you have a tribe, you have a circle that you are a part of. Its members – loved ones, friends, or neighbors – can be a source of support, caring, guidance, and companionship.
7. See the larger picture. Remember that the way that you choose to live is not the only way to live. Widen your perspective by exploring other modes of being through research, travel, and discussion.
8. Embrace the challenges that life presents to you, and challenge yourself often. After a time, even the most exciting jobs or lifestyles can seem routine. Never stop assimilating new knowledge about whatever you are doing, and your life will never seem dull.
9. Move your body. In this busy world, it can be easy to live a sedentary life. Movement reacquaints us with our bodies and connects us to the earth in a visceral way. It also restores our vitality.
10. Make time for stillness, silence, and solitude. The world can be noisy, and we are subject to all kinds of noises nearly every waking hour. We are also often “on the go” and unable to relax. Being alone in a peaceful place and making time for quiet can help you stay in touch with yourself.
What do you think?
An expectation that comes up often during our checklist of suitor’s qualities is…perfection. Will this person meet 10 out of 10 qualities you look for? Highly unlikely.
See,
He or she doesn’t need to be perfect.
How you approach her doesn’t need to be perfect.
What you say to him doesn’t need to be perfect.
Life doesn’t need to be perfect.
YOU don’t need to be perfect.
Your ability to grow and evolve as a more conscious/ compassionate/ developed human being, THAT is perfect. So this reminds me of this DailyOM article: SETTING YOURSELF FREE
“When we make mistakes, we think that we are failing or not measuring up. But if life is about experimenting, experiencing, and learning, then to be imperfect is a prerequisite. Life becomes much more interesting once we let go of our quest for perfection and aspire for imperfection instead.
This doesn’t mean that we don’t strive to be our best. We simply accept that there is no such thing as perfection—especially in life. All living things are in a ceaseless state of movement. Even as you read this, your hair is growing, your cells are dying and being reborn, and your blood is moving through your veins. Your life changes more than it stays the same. Perfection may happen in a moment, but it will not last because it is an impermanent state. Trying to hold on to perfection or forcing it to happen causes frustration and unhappiness.
In spite of this, many of us are in the habit of trying to be perfect. One way to nudge ourselves out of this tendency is to look at our lives and notice that no one is judging us to see whether or not we are perfect. Sometimes, perfectionism is a holdover from our childhood—an ideal we inherited from a demanding parent. We are adults now, and we can choose to let go of the need to perform for someone else’s approval. Similarly, we can choose to experience the universe as a loving place where we are free to be imperfect. Once we realize this, we can begin to take ourselves less seriously and have more fun. Imperfection is inherent to being human. By embracing your imperfections, you embrace yourself.”
This is something I often remind myself when I’m getting into the perfectionist mode. “It’s OK, being flexible, shedding and gaining new layers..that is where it’s really at. Doesn’t need to be perfect.”
V’stars, what do you think?
Did you just got out of a long term relationship?
Been single for sometime and deciding whether you’re ready for something more committal?
At the fork in the road and deciding with path to take?
You know, we’ve all been in one or more of these scenarios and then comes the question: Do I want to be single?
I came across a DailyOM article on this very topic. And yes, everyone has their own definition of ‘being single’. Mine is: not dating someone exclusively. I believe it starts off as a conscious decision and then we make the moves in its direction. For me, I choose to be single because I know exactly what I’m looking for and will hold out until my right match comes along. A serious relationship requires much attention, dedication and effort so I don’t believe in settling for less than perfect compatibility. What about you? Let me know what you think of the the article below.
Here’s the great DailyOM article: The Ways We Love
Choosing to Have a Mate or Being Single
“The way we choose to love can be as unique as the way we choose to make a living, maintain our health, or entertain ourselves. Some choose to seek out a mate and enter into a partnership with a special individual, while others find immense satisfaction in staying single. There is no right or wrong way to be in your life when it comes to deciding whether or not to be in a relationship, even though society tends to put an emphasis on romantic partnerships. Whether you choose to go through life as part of a romantic relationship or live as a single unit, there are benefits to both. Feel free to be comfortable with whatever choice is right for you.
Choosing to be single is a wonderful way to spend time discovering yourself. You have more time and space to figure out what and how you want your life to be without having to keep someone else’s choices in mind. Being single gives you the freedom to do what you want at a moment’s notice and the pride that comes with facing life on your own terms. Companionship, support, and affection can be found while spending quality time with friends, colleagues, and relatives….
Remember that what is right for one person may not be right for another, and people can transition between wanting to be with another person and wanting to be alone many times over the course of their lives. Whether you seek out a mate or live the single life, embracing it fully will ensure that either choice is as fulfilling as possible for you. “
Tags:
DATING
Posted on: 04 January 2009
Ever have those moments when right after something happens, a lightbulb goes off? Whether you learn not to do that again or became more aware of yourself? This, my dear, is the process of evolving as a person and part of your self-discovery.
Photo by Beth Armsheimer
Events are constantly cycling…our career changes, new relationships, arguments, joy, loss, and so is self-discovery! It’s important to set time for ‘self discovery’ because YOU are your best investment. I wanted to share this article piece of DailyOm with you:
DailyOM article:
“Inherent to our being born is that we are here to observe, learn, and grow. Accompanying this is a built-in guarantee that there will be mistakes and misadventures along the way. And while it is only natural that we may sometimes become overwhelmed, especially when the lessons keep coming, it is important to remember that learning to understand yourself and your world is an ongoing and active process where the journey is more important than the destination. Every lesson is intended so you can become more of who you are. And as you grow through this self-discovery, you begin to create your own instruction manual. The “how’s” and “why’s” are yours to discover, and part of the beauty of being alive is that these rules are always changing.”
My self-discovery: Though this process is on-going, every year about 1-2 times, I consciously stop my tracks to reset for healthy reflection. I think about:
What makes me happy
How I have evolved
What do I need to take away to be more complete
My priorities: How I want to spend my time
What I want to do to develop myself even more
Re-identify my goals and passions
What was the most recent thing you discovered about yourself?
Vanae’s tip of the dae: “Discover yourself and embrace your life’s lessons, and your instruction manual will create itself.” (shared by DailyOM)
