I can’t sleep.
Those 3 bright red numbers are staring at me.
3:08
A.M.
Something is bothering me and I asked myself the right questions to really get to the bottom of it. I realize what it is….it’s EGO (your “story” that interprets what you perceive- as Matt Sorgenfrei puts it).
“EGO! I cast thee!”
and I let it go. Slept like a baby.
An important growth piece that I’ve gained through the years is being able to stop in my tracks to understand what and why it’s bothering me. I know…It’d be easier if we were just robots operating on no emotions or no hearts to be broken. But unfortunately, we’re not. Despite my mom saying “See! Even robots have feelings and compassion!”, during Wall.E. (She’s so cute.)
We have to deal with real people, real relationships and real emotions. And often times the root of why something is holding us back or bothering us, tends to be EGO. Here’s the process of questions you need to ask yourself during these times:
1. What are you feeling?
2. Why does it bother you?
3. So why does that matter?
4. Could it be your ego that’s holding you back or causing this?
If it turns out that EGO is the culprit…here’s how you kick that bugger to the curb. (Yeah, I love the ‘kicking to the curb’ metaphor)
A. EGO
Often times, this is the cause of hurt. Your pride is scarred, your ego is damaged. Ego tries to identify your “self” and solidify who you are, but it’s unnecessary because often it builds your tough skin and holds you back.
B. That’s it?
So what? It’s just your ego. Your ego won’t save your life if you’re drowning! Your ego won’t make you richer or happier. Bottom line, there’s no need for the sucker. You’re the driver so you’re in control. Realize that it’s just your EGO and LET THAT FEELING LET GO.
C. It too shall pass
You’ve dealt with bigger obstacles and you came out strong in the end. So whether you’re dealing with a break-up, a scuffle with a co-worker or someone cut you off on the road…realize that this moment is just a nano-second compared to how wonderful and vast your universe is. Let it pass. Your mental property is much too valuable. That’s Vanae’s tip of the dae!
So go ahead!
Let go of ego and…
Call him and make plans!
Apologize to her and share what you’ve learned!
Allow that car to go in front of you!
What do you think?
she looked at me with her big brown eyes and said “$185″. my heart..sank!
“what?!”, i replied.
earlier this afternoon, i went to the city hall to turn in my signed fix-it citation and payment. instead of accepting my $10 payment, the cashier corrected me saying i owe $185 (because of overdue charges). there was no way around it. i had to pay…and i did.
photo by PIEZ
i left the city hall feeling bitter, for sure. i mean $185 could have saved 36 starvings kids in africa (well, not really, but you know what i mean). after 3 minutes, i said to myself “ok, i can choose to be bitter and let it ruin my day OR i can take this lesson learned (about procrastinating) and move on!”. so i decided on the latter. instantly, i felt better.
i’m sharing this story because bitterness and choice applies to many situations in life, especially after a break-up! at the end of a relationship, you can be bitter and wallow in it OR accept it, learn and move on. every person enters your life for a reason and when your time together is up, appreciate what you shared. don’t let bitterness taint the good memories and experiences you’ve gained. remember, it’s always a choice!
well, at least leaving a relationship can leave you with good memories whereas paid parking tickets just leave you with a lighter wallet. ha!
how to overcome bitterness after a relationship:
1) don’t take it personally
it’s not you. it’s not him/her. most relationships have an expiration and it ends when its suppose to. most of the people you’ll date…won’t be THE ONE. and along the way, you’ll make mistakes, have great experiences, feel all the emotions and grow. remember, it’s the journey, not the destination.
2) it’s not the end of the world!
in fact, it’s just the beginning! there’s plenty of wonderful people are out there, who you’re going to meet! the experience will get better and better and richer along the way.
3) be optimistic!
think of the positive things you’ve gained from the relationship and move on. the faster you move on, the more your heart will open for a better match and new friends.
4) move on and be civil
after you move on and heal, but sure to loop back later on make sure you’re on good terms with your ex. trust me, it feels great to be on neutral or positive terms with your exs.
when was the last time you were bitter? how did you over come it?
