Hey Vanae, I just took your advice from the post, and I wanted to let you know it worked wonders. It hurt at first, but then I was hit with an overwhelming sense of relief. And all that stress and pressure was gone. So basically, I wanted to say thanks.

There is no amount of thanks I can give to show my gratitude.

Good advice Vanae! Being the non-dater dater that I am, I tell guys (and gals) not too get too excited until the time comes. Take things with a grain of salt until you both know that there’s interest from both of you. Seems to save a little heartache.

Sideline Guy:
Your in the playoff’s bro.! You’v found your way to the “Wonderful Sport of Dating.” the only way to win at this game is to participate and always aim for your personal happyness.

Your being played by this girl dude… Told to stay benched and watch as your one man team is being walked over. It’s time for you to make the call….. The ball is in your court, do something.!. My suggestion is Let Her Go!!! For some reason this girl is holding on to you which is ultimatly bringing you down.

I’m sure your heard the phrase “I’m tired of All the games.” well my friend, this particular one is pretty common. But you will be fine! Trust, you will gain some great knowledge and learn some valuble insight about yourself and dating alike, when the smoke clears.

I had my share of “highlight moments” myself LOL.
After dating a girl for nearly a year and dealing with the pressures of a long distant relationship, we decided she should move in with me. Everything was there, feelings, attraction, similarities, the works. In some way the distant relationsip was perfect…… LOL yeah… That was till she moved in… Than three weeks later moved right back out.!. As it so happened, she wasn’t ready to let go off her ways or even try to adapt.

Learned lesson: sometimes it is what it is, at least we had a fun time while it lasted

Yep, your situation kind of reminds me of one of the many “Let’s be friends” scenarios. You like this girl, known her for a while, she plays the “Let’s be friends” card, but she still lets you call her, even goes out with you, on occasion, to HER advantage, of course, and you aren’t getting any?
It’s “THE GAME” my friend, so get hip to it. You may be one of the Mark a$$ Busters my boy Snoop Dogg is taunting in his song “Sexual Seduction”, and gettin’ played.
When playing “THE GAME”, Son, it’s all about staying on top of it; who can get the most for the least. The only real difference between men and women is the commodity. In general, most men play to get in the woman’s pu$$y, and most women play to get in the man’s pocket! It is what it is, Son, all the rest of that moral and emo’ s#!t is secondary.
So Bro, spare yourself a lot of time, grief; most importantly cash, and MOVE ON! The numbers are in your favor anyway, at least two to one! Unless you live in the “Great White North”, like Alaska, North Dakota, or some s#!t, then you’re screwed!

Yeah ron, kinda douchey really. Fine if u wanna be a playa playa from the himalaya so long as ur up front in each interaction….but realize not everyone is like that. Would be interesting to see % wise on how much of the population considers his/herself a playa…

Ha, so vanae likes v-jay-jay…always been partial to panooch myself as a term for the girls special spot. Weird, my spell check accepts realize with a z….

great advice V , I noticed that ur readers number has increased , CONGRATULATIONS Vanae ^_^

vanae i think you r hot and sexy send me your e-mail ill add you and maybe see each other in real life so if you do i hope u date me ur sexy and vanae even though in one of your vids say that your boobs are small i think they are perfect you are a beautiful girl i like that about u i think u r smart but sweet so but anyways i love u like seriously i wanna date you

err.. yeah but I needed you entry on the sideline guy Vanae. I think i need to start looking forward. Congrats on having more v’stars btw! i remember when we were just at 200 or so.

i agree also no one should be put on the sidelines either it man or a woman..i know what it likes being on the sidelines a couple of times,and the one energy
it drains the most is you emotionally..youre sense of well being,and confidence.what i learned in a phsycology course.i know it no fun being hurt,or put down in a bad way…what vanae said about woman,and yet there are men who are that way too..i just call them user,and abusers,which i seem them in person,and had to deal with them personally years ago.as for me im more cautious till i get to know the person very well.here my question to all
what is codependence and interdependence to you all mean.to me codependence is a win/lose type relationship and the other one is win/win.

james

You have to protect yourself from the hurt others can cause – put your happiness first – don’t let others use you. You deserve someone much better!!!

This goes out to all the fellas who are the sideline guy. Like Vanae said move on and forget about her that special someone will be out there. U may not find him/her today/tomorrow,next week,next month, or next year, but u will find that person one day and wen u do u will feel blessed. If anyone is going through this forget about her and press forward and continue on with ur goals in life because really nothing hits harder than life its not all flowers and rainbows its ugly its hard and it will beat u down. Anyway if ur the sideline guy break away now because it can keep u there perminantly if u let it keep seeing other people and u have to get over it as well because if u dont it will have serious affects on u physically u will look crappy mentally ull be weak yes it will hurt u inside but once u forget about her u will be ok and u will also feel that it was the greatist decision u ever made and it will suck in the begining but u will be ok after a couple of days and just live ur life have fun experience new things u only live once in gods beautiful green earth dont take it for granted and vanae ur the best relationship guru anyone can ask for i fully recomend you. I sent u a message a weak ago hopefully u got it i sent it here just to let u know.

Yo dude its good to moove on n it is reeli hard to do it but i think you could be strong enough to do it. by the way how do you write to the Ask Vanea Fridae thing?

well I’m side line guy, after I watched the video, I totally fit in the question…… I felt that I should move on with my life couple weeks ago. but the relation between me and that girl I’ve been liking for 4 years haven’t brake yet…. I don’t know if I should talk to her about this( still wanted to be friends after all these years) or just ignore her even tho I see her in church.

Well, hi Vanae.
i sort on the same track as Yao, i did try to tell her i like her the first weeks we became friends by email and now i think it was a mistake. She did answer with the lets just be friends/no ready for commitment thing.It hurt, but we never really talk about it after that.

Yet, i thought it was because she didint know me that well cause i was more shy and immature than i’m today. Now, I’ve been changing most of those problems with me, and i have goals in life and i tell her about those goals, she tells me hers.

However, i’ve been meeting people, so its great, but i still want to be with her or at least a couple of dates, not just with her friends. In the end, i think its just gonna be her loss and i will find someone eventually.