For this week’s fun Game Dae Wednesdae, I want to hear your answer to:
Should a lady ask a guy out for a date? Please post your answer as a comment below!
Brand spanking new Vanae.com episode, which I give my thoughts on this question and as promised, I cover the song, ‘Use Somebody’ by Kings of Leon!
Remember to register for the HOW TO APPROACH live workshop for 3/11 @ 7pm PST.
FUCK YEAH!
Some women are hesitant to do this even as a counter offer if a guy asks them and they are genuinely busy, which is why all women would benefit by asking a guy out. Get used to doing it! Get over your fears, because the guy will find it awesome.
And most guys I know, even if they are uninterested, will praise you for your confidence and sincerely thank you for taking the risk. I know some women who have asked men out and been turned down, been complimented, and then screamed to me “I’m so embarrassed and feeling rejected. I will never do that again,” and I’m sitting there watching it thinking “the guy just gave you 5 compliments while politely turning you down, I only wish women would turn me down like that.” You should do it, and you should not feel down if a guy says no just like you would tell a guy friend “so what. Others will say yes.”
Personally, I find it appealing when a woman asks me out. It shows me that she knows what she wants and she isn’t afraid to put herself out there in order to get it. If anything, I admire her courage which obviously is a big plus in my book.
I enjoyed your cover, vanae. It had a different spin from the acoustic covers that I’ve heard in the past and I (like yourself) am all for new. Congrats on the 20.000 subs!
I love it, especially when she offers to pay for everything and taken the initiative to plan the venues for the night.
I won’t say no, that’s for sure!!!
BTW, I am gentleman enough to return the favor in due time. From the Heart of Course!!!
gentleman and from the heart..that’s what i like to hear v’star cesar!
Keep your Emails coming to me. I’m always taking notes from you. I wish I could attend your workshop. I’m in Pa. Keep Up the Great Work your doing.
Generally for both men and women, getting asked out is very flattering. It makes the person feel appreciated and liked, so my answer is go for it, it shouldn’t always guy asking girls.
I also agree with the previous comments on how to politely reject the offer and try best not to make the person asking feel too bad about her/himself.
On a personal note, I have social anxiety disorder, so every interaction in general is a huge challenge for me, so getting asked out by a girl is always great.
I would not mind being asked out. I have had some girls do pretty much everything but technically ask me out. I’m sure some guys have had similar experiences. Usually it involves not-so-subtle suggestions to go somewhere, stopping just short of actually saying the words “Do you want to go to … with me?”
It was clear they wanted to be asked out though, so I’ve always considered it sort of the female way of asking someone out. They pretty much set up the stage for me to ask them out. I don’t think it’s too big of jump to go from that to actually asking a guy out. I’m sure most guys would welcome it, like you said.
I’ve been asked out by girls before and I always viewed it as a refreshing experience – especially if there’s early signs of connection going on. The fears of rejection is something all of us have….some can handle the situation better than others. I used to take being rejected rather badly because of the anxiety built up to that moment of asking, only to be dealt some emotional bruising after being turned down. It was never fun.
Perhaps the girl making the first move is something we will start to see more often as venues like this allows both genders to lay their cards on the table so we can better understand our respective views and emotions.
usually i would like to be the one against the majority, but in this case, i pretty much agree to that. There’s this girl in my play I’m Doing; “All Shook Up!” and i want to ask her out, but only to an extent where i feel like the vibe i get from her is stronger than ever; its pretty much how i do it with previous girls i tried to ask out. ok ill be honest there’s been many girls, but one i actually tried to ask out upon a vibe. >.< …
P.s. I'm sry still bout the sticker! its been a while since i visited… still tryin to save up to by a camera. but the dam credit card…. is now only being used for gas!… sometimes food =P
Yeah baby I would like a female to ask me out. it very rare for a girl to ask you out it the other way for a guy to ask a girl out. I think ther eare girls like to ask a guy but they are too shy to ask him out. I think it take time to take the shyness out. I had other girls asking me to dance with them at the bar but never really ask me out.. What the difference between asking you to dance with them and asking a guy out on a date?
Matt
hehe naughty mood huh ! ;P my answer is absFlotly YES
go for it girls but don’t freak out the guy !
Hell yes, it’s about time more women come forward and ask us guys out.
Catches Kiss* Thank You!!
wink*
I totally agree, I always hated hearing yrs later, a friend telling me she had a crush on me, she should have asked me out cuz her little “just friends” mask totally fooled me.
Now I’m not soo awesome, but I’m working on that, speaking of which Vanae you should ask me out in three months we can be random somewhere
(l___l)
(=’,'=)
(“”)(“”)
Oh and sorry about the workshop thingy, I suck I know but I really needed to be there for moral support but I really wanted to do the workshop, don’t hate me or anything, jusy <3 me moar now
It sounds different, However in my opinion every guy will like that. but truly speaking… if some girl approaches me for a date… I’ll we shocked..lol
ONLY IF THEY ARE YOUNG AND HOT!!!
I SECOND, COMFIRM, CONCUR, ASCRIBE, ACEED, COMPLY, CONCEED, COSIGN, CONSORT AND ANY OTHER ADJECTIVE THAT DESCRIBES AGREMENT! IT SEEMS THE ONLY CHICKS THAT ASK GUYS OUT ARE DESPARATE, UGLY, FAT, WRINKLED, DRIED UP, CLASSLESS, OLD COUGARS; OR YOUNG WOMEN THAT FIT INTO ANY OF THOSE INDIVIDUAL CATEGORIES. WHY? BECAUSE THEY GOT NOTHING TO LOOSE. HOT CHICKS NEVER HAVE TO! UNLESS A GUY IS FILTHY RICH? FORRRRGETABOUT IT!
Hey Vanae! I know this has nothing to do with the topic at hand, but I’ve noticed you are a really good singer and can strum a pretty mean guitar.
I’m trying to get an Alternative Rock group going that sing songs about the subjects you talk about online,and life in general. Please shoot me an e-mail to let me know whether or not you’d be interested, Thanks!
Great post Vanae! I think you hit an interesting topic (and enjoyed the beautiful singing by the way).
And my comment to your question to whether guys like to be asked out. As a dating coach, I would completely agree with you. Guys like to be asked out, receive massages, be offered to pay for a dinner, to be taken to movies, etc..
But I think another important and related question to ask is whether you asking a guy out will make him more attracted to or to inspire and motivate him to step up to do the same to you? And my answer is not necessarily.
So as a short conclusion, while I do think that guys like to be asked out, I think more important than women learning to ask a guy out would be for women to learn the art and secrets of flirting and presenting themselves in away that will have the guys running after them instead.
Hell f-ing yeah on girls asking guys out.
Vanae,
Yes, Your 100% percent Right. I had a Speech Impediment from K-12th Grade, Been picked On in School, and been Verbally/Emotionally Abused by my father. All of that made me Shy. I never thought I was Good Enough for a girl/Lady. I always thought, Whats the use? just get turned down any way.
—-Jeff
It’s happened to me before, so why not? Besides, I feel that if someone wants something, he or SHE should go right for it.
NO NO NO
Almost all men that experience being asked out by a woman find it annoying at best or maybe a what the heck score forget her thing.
In theory and only in someones dreams, it may sound okay or even good or a great idea.
In reality, it is a big NO NO NO to ask a man out.
Close to 100% of the time, the woman asking out the guy is a woman we are not really interested in and then have to deal with the awkward situation. Or say Yes but mean No to not hurt her feeling. Or sure there are guys who will say yes to just use her.
So reality (which most all guys will not voice) is NO NO NO. Really bad advice to ask a guy out. (Of course, you can dream about it and make up a happy ending.)
Don’t do it or you eventually maybe figure out it was a big mistake if you are honest.
Guys ask a woman out if they are interested and if they are not will not.
I think woman can. The thing is if both of you guys know you like each other, what is the big deal? I have so many woman friends that really like a guy and are to scared to ask a guy out. Obviously they like each other, and if they say no, what ever. People need to stop feeling guilty for asking someone out and and them saying no. Just keep on with your lifes. Especially with a friend, if they don’t like you, don’t make it awkward, you can keep being friends.
Ok so I get that guys don’t want to be asked out by ugly girls, just as we do not like to be asked out by guys we’re not interested in. And I get that if a guy already knows you like you have the same group of friends he would have already asked you out if he was interested. But what if the girl is really pretty etc, and gets asked out by guys all the time but not the one she wants. Example: There is a guy I always see at my school and I caught him staring at me several times but we have never spoken. We dont have any classes together either or mutual friends.I assumed from his staring at me so much so many times he woulda asked me out by now because I do consider myself “hot” and get asked out all the time by guys, and not to sound arrogant but I am def one of the hottest girls at my school because I go to a nerdy college. Long story short I realize I always talk to guys who are out of school, not usually college age guys and this is the first time I have ever considered going up to a guy and starting a conversation because the suspense of the staring back and forth at eachother is killing me lol. I’ve thought about it alot and I know from a girl perspective I’m always thrilled when it’s the hot guys asking you out as opposed to the average or the creepy ones so part of me thinks he’d be thrilled someone like me walked up to him, but at the same time I dont want him to think I am desperate if I’m the one who goes up to him first and starts talking, because like one guy mentioned above it is a stereotype that the girls doing most the asking are the ugly weird ones. I asked a couple guys in a class at school why would a guy stare at me like breakin his neck and not talk to me, and one of their responses was that if he were out at a club or an atmosphere like that he’d approach a girl more easily but at school or work if he got shot down he’d have to see u all the time. I just wanted to get people’s opinions on a more specific situation of girls asking guys out. And even 2 of my friends have seen him looking at me on more than one occasion. So i would assume there is atleast some physical attraction there, but is this something w/ college guys cuz I usually date older
Ok this is my 2 cents worth! (This will probably turn into a rant ha-ha)
I often hear and read of many women wondering why many guys tend to stare in their general direction but never approach; this is just one possibility that’s never mentioned! Could it be that their just having a perv, I’m serious your obviously attractive but should that warrant a conversation, heck no!
I don’t know where all these posters are from? But here in Australia I can’t get half way down my street without Seeing Eye candy! And sure I look, I make it dam obvious too! But I don’t want a conversation I wouldn’t get anything done!
Oh and please! If you’re going to approach men in general please conduct yourself as an adult! Don’t approach us, say hi and let to guy carry the conversation, dam that annoys me!
Please don’t send your friends to ask us if we’re single, gay or fish us for personal info!
And last but not least don’t accuse us of anything that you wouldn’t consider doing yourself! Not asking you out shouldn’t have anything to do with my manhood and vice versa.
Cheers!
No more words – you are the best!!!
Sure women and men are people. Why men can and women shouldnt? Maybe i would say “No” to girl who i dont like and who ask me date out.I would say “Yes” with sure if Vane ask date me out.
hehe
of course men would be pleased about it, but at times it seems odd… it really depends on the person.
It happened to me actually, on a number of occasions actually and I dunno what but I just kept it in the friend zone. I suppose, cause I am old traditional so it seemed very strange. Kind of regret not saying yes though cause they were nice ladies.
One personal experience. There was this girl who did not ask me out but it was rather obvious that she wanted me to take her as a g/f. She even baked food for me. She was very nice. She was chatty too. And she was very educated (she eventually went to medical school). Unfortunately I did not feel much chemistry with her because she was just a friend. Her overcommitting was, in a sense, working against her. In this case asking me out would have put us in an awkward position and I would have the unenvious position of rejecting her.
For personal gratification sure.. I would love women to ask me out but under the stipulation that I have some attraction for the person. I just hate telling someone “no.” This is unpredictable. But a woman asking me out would save me the risk of being rejected. Asking someone out is such a huge risk taker because nobody likes to be rejected. It seems to me that one should only do it if one is confident and strong. It’s not for the weak of heart. If your confidence is shaky.. rejection will bite HARD. Don’t do it until you’re self-confident and immune from someone turning you down. But if your ego is made of steel and you know you’re the stuff.. please pLeAse take the chance to ask men out too
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From what I know, some guys like the manly feeling of asking a girl out and when a girl does it they feel shot down. Others think its an awesome trait as it shows the girl is confident. It really depends on the guy.