Comments on: No strings attach with the EX

By: Ronnie

Ronnie — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 23:34:20 +0000

Yo Glen, don’t trip dude! It’s cool to share your experiences. Hopefully, that’s how, you, and the people you’re sharing with will learn. Let’s say they don’t agree with you. If they they have half a mind, and not a total box of rocks upstairs, they should get something usefull from what you’ve said.

By: Grandma

Grandma — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 18:54:40 +0000

LOL this post makes my memory bank work in high gear

By: Jonsi

Jonsi — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 03:35:43 +0000

Bim, I would agree, except it is clear he IS hurting right now. Living a life with authenticity and integrity means asking for what you want and expressing how you feel. Passive or passive aggressive behavior is manipulative behavior, not consensual behavior. There is nothing consensual about refraining from saying “I am still in love with you,” or on the other side, “I want to stay close to you, but deep down, I do not see a romantic future with you.” They would only be consenting if they honestly communicated with each other. Now, I agree with you — by all means, go for it — but that means telling her how he feels, and asking her to be fully honest with him.

By: bim

bim — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 00:20:22 +0000

As long as to consenting adults are willing to go through this kind of set up then it is up to them.

The decision is falls up to you if you’re willing to play this game and if you’re thick as a crocodile’s skin.

Remember, as long as NO ONE ELSE would be affected by it then by all means go for it.

By: Marcus

Marcus — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 21:59:16 +0000

Just because you do not want to lose someone doesnt mean you are trying to keep them on “strings”. Sometimes you can genuinely love someone and want to spend your life with them, but there is something about you that they cannot get over (aka, temper, etc).

A lot of times people are just scared of being alone. They are immature and will string you along so they can find a replacement. Do not feel bad to let them go.. What wont kill them, will only make them stronger.

By: Jonsi

Jonsi — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 03:18:26 +0000

I’ve had an ex ask this of me — emailing me asking to be FWB 10 days after the breakup in response to the 4th time I politely asked her to give me space to heal because I was in love with her and incapable of being friends for several months, and it wrecked me. How I viewed it was her asserting “Jonsi, I don’t love you. I was never serious about you. I never wanted a relationship with you. You aren’t worth pursuing a future. But even though you love me, can we still f*ck while I go on dates with other guys until I meet someone who I think is better than you?” Irrational? No. There is low self esteem in thinking that way, but in application, it’s pretty much what she was asking. I’m sure she didn’t intend that, but that does not negate what it actually meant in application.

Why would I let her, or anyone, do that when I was in love? I deserve a hell of a lot more than that. Sure, I faced those questions: was this her way of trying to come back? What if I had said yes? Was she just confused? Screw those questions. I am worth fighting for. She broke up with me. She was trying to take advantage of me and manipulate me.

To the op: no contact isn’t for everyone, but there is a difference between talking every couple of months and spending multiple days a week together. You have two options: (1) hang out in a pseudo-relationship. There is LOW probability this will bring her back to you. (2) Cut the strings and tell her: “you don’t get to keep me on a string. You either think there is a future with me, or you don’t, and I expect you to dig deep down and be fully honest with me.” There is also a low probability chance she will come back to you if you do this. But there is a HIGH probability you will heal and find someone else if you do this.

By: Glenn

Glenn — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 22:18:33 +0000

Sorry, I didn’t meant to hijack this message string with my loonnggg comment, after re-reading it, I realize I went from commenting on Confused’s issue and turned it into something all about me. Sorry.

By: Ronnie

Ronnie — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 03:54:35 +0000

Yo Confused:

Regardless to how you feel, or think, do as Vanae says, BREAK ALL TIES! EPECAILLY if YOU broke up with her first. This no strings thing is an immature, selfish ploy, to string you along until she finds someone else. Some people date like monkeys swing in trees: they won’t let go of one branch until they have a firm grip on another.
Another thing to consider: there are some who are egotistical, manipulative, and seethingly vindictive people, who will not allow any one else to have the last word on anything. She may be setting you up for the “okey doke” to fall in love with her, again, agree you’re together, again, let others think you’re together, again, make it appear everything is fine, again; then lower the boom and break it off with you!
So, if she is indeed of those aforementioned types of people, break camp, I can guarantee she won’t be half as nice and compromising as you are; she’s going to make sure your life is miserable for a while, and hurt you far more than you hurt her.

By: Cesar - Click Here For The Song

Cesar - Click Here For The Song — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 03:05:08 +0000

Now! On a more positive note listen to this song to brighten up your day. We are all here to offer our support.

By: Cesar - Click Here For The Song

Cesar - Click Here For The Song — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 00:53:17 +0000

Cesar Here Again! If you get an annoying banner on your screen when you are hearing the song, just reload the screen again to refresh the link.