Thanks to Timid, I want to share this intelligent article by Jam Donaldson, sharing the lessons she’s learned on embracing our powerful-self while engaging with the world. It’s geared towards women but it strongly applies to men as well. As my spiritual teacher once said, “We can be kind AND powerful.”
“We live in a culture where the individual is highly regarded. Individual choice is heralded, personal responsibility is required and we pride ourselves on individual opportunity. But it think its time for a bit of a reality check.
Somewhere in our quest for individual success, we forget our relationships with others. We forget that how we treat others is just as important as how they treat us. Too often we become takers. We want to “play them” before they “play us.” We focus solely on “getting ours.” We encourage each other to “do you!” And like a cheating lover, this strategy will betray you and leave you lonely…
Being strong doesn’t mean being angry. Being independent doesn’t mean being selfish. Being educated doesn’t mean being elitist. We shine when we nurture and love and care. Don’t be afraid to laugh and cry and dance and love with reckless abandon. Don’t be afraid to smile. Softness and vulnerability and tenderness do not make you weak. They make you human. They make you a woman…
In love, treat men how you want to be treated. Know that his needs are just as important as yours. Don’t treat your relationships as if you are the only prize. It astounds me how many women think that somehow they are the only one that matters in a relationship. Its called a RELATIONSHIP for a reason. Remember that. Why do you think that when you yell, and berate and marginalize a man, he will love you? Yes, we know you are strong and capable, but so is he. So let him be it.
Don’t punish your children (and everyone else) for your bad decisions and poor choices. And yes, you have made some. Probably several…
Don’t treat your friends or children or parents like they are just another entry on your to-do list. (Trust, I’ve learned the hard way.)…
No matter how accomplished you are, what people will remember is how you treated them. No one will recall how many degrees you had or what type of car you drove or that you had a fireplace in every room, but they will remember how you made them feel and what you brought to their lives and that you made them a better person for having known you.
As 2010 begins, each of our resolutions should include leaving the world a better place than we found it and making the people around you feel enriched for having met you. So in the boardroom, be a bitch if you need to, but remember to leave that bitch at work. And when you come home, don’t be afraid to unpack your Coach attaché or Hermes Birkin and take the woman back out.”
To read her full article, click here.
And another gem for you:
I agree, i think that the thing that gets attached in us about our peers is how they made us feel and how we made em feel rather than the materialistic things aside.
BTW, Vane. I received your card. Thanks a bunch! will email you a foto later, and yes i will try well have to do good and be good this year, foremost haha
you’re super welcome!
can’t wait to see your photo
good article…once I dated this lady.. and her kid about the same age as the one in the video just walked over, kicked me in the shin and said “give me a dollar”..we argued like cats and dogs all the time (the kid and I) thanks for reminding me of this time. Made me laugh..