ASK VANAE FRIDAE
Q. Hey Vanae, my ex girlfriend invited me to her bday party at a club/lounge. We’ve been broken up for about 3 months now but i don’t think im ready to see her with another guy. She claims she’s doesn’t have a new man or no one speical “yet”, but yet she’s staying at another guy’s house.
Should i even bother going? i’m normally not the jealous type, but this just rubs me the wrong way. I still care about her and i want us to be friend but at the same time i wish she never invited me. What should i do?
The Ex
A. Dear The Ex,
Why torture yourself? If you know you’re not over your ex yet, don’t put yourself in the situation where you might get sour. Be honest with yourself if you just want to be friends or if the possibility of getting back is still brewing in your mind. If you want to remain friends…I’d suggest not going to her bday party, or even see her (for that matter), until you’re completely ready to be platonic.
Staying on good terms with your ex is something most people want to do. But if you’re not ready, then you’re not ready.
How to decline: You can tell her that you can hang out down the road, but now is not the best time. She can wonder all she wants what this means (do you have another girl, are you not ready..etc), but it’s clear that you don’t want to hang out now.
V’stars, what do you think?
My suggest is DONT GO TO THE PARTY. i believe you cant bare to see your ex-gf with the new bf.. and even want to go, you must bring your girl-friend to there and make your gf think “are you attached?” But how could your gf can get/stay with anpother guy after 3months broke of.. does she ever love you before? it seems so fast after the break off..
well, from my little experience, you czn’t be friends with an ex, until a really really long time and usually after you find someone else.
3 months is so little time, don’t go, and no matter what, don’t stay at home during that night. Go out with friends and do something unusual fun, something that does not involve alcohol.
Yep. I agree with Wissam. Have some self pride and don’t put yourself in a potentially painful or mortifying experience. Hang out with people instead who increase your sense of self-worth and appreciate you. Definitely don’t go.
yo finley,
how’s you be?
hanging out with friends, meeting new people and getting into fun hobbies is the best way to feel good and move on.
thanks for sharing!
V
for me fun= making $$$
she might be just playing games so be careful that right i agree wuith all of the othr comment do not go to the party unless you bring your girlfriend so she think you are attach
As for me, I will jus sent her a simple text messege, wishing her a happpie birthday n thats about all.
I better choose not to attend her party. Even if i had a gf, i also will not bring her to attend the party. Its meaningless showing your ex that u had a gf and she too show u that she had a bf…since u and her realtionship itself is meaningless to carry on.
Jus carry on with ur life. live it, love it. Tats the most important.
i completely agree with this.
spot on, v’star james!
V
why ppl ask so many question which have very simple answer dude? can u tell me why? just cause they want someone would hear them or what?
then i need someone hear me as well
i have a simple question: do really girls like jerks? ( i am serious), or nice guys?! or both
a) Don’t go to that party. Plan something else!! for GOD SAKES!!! It’s been 3 months. You can have a better life without her. I promise!
B) Girls like what they like on an individual level.
But in general, a guy with a sense of humor, a little style, and a life.
The jerk thing women get into because there’s this kind of screwed up mentality in some women that convinces them that getting a jerk reaction from a guy is honest and loving. I’d stay far away from women like that.
V!!
When can we put up pics?
I don’t want the homemade snowflake thingey anymore.
I agree with the advice not to go to the party. You have no obligation to go, if she really wants to be friends you missing one party won’t put her off. However if she really isn’t seeing anyone why not suggest you both meet up for a drink and see if you can have some sex-with-the-ex fun?