I hear people say..”Women are complicated and men are so simple.” Women and men’s style of communication is very differently, heck, everyone communicates different as individuals. We want answers right now, while men can be more patient. Also, women typically don’t want to be confrontational, so we won’t ask you up front…but ask you questions to get clues instead. You know, a great book that breaks this down is ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”.
For Game Dae Wednesdae-
Ever wonder what he/she really meant? For this week’s game activity, we’re going to involve the V’star community to help decipher messages. Share something that the opposite sex says so that V’stars can shine some light on what he/she meant. For example:
What does she truly mean by saying, “I think we should be friends”?
Translation: “Nopes. You’re not the one for me and I can’t imagine us getting along romantically. We might end up as friends, but I can’t guarantee we’ll still be in contact.”
What does he truly mean by saying, “I’m emotionally unavailable” or “I’m not ready for a relationship right now.” Guys, share your interpretation.
Let’s demystify what the opposite sex is saying by start asking:
“What does she/he truly mean by saying ____________________________”
“I’m emotionally unavailable” or “I’m not ready for a relationship right now.”
I’m not familiar with guys using the first phrase. As to the second phrase, I believe that it’s the ANSWER to what a guy really means lol I believe it means exactly what it says.
Let’s demystify what the opposite sex is saying by start asking:
“What does she truly mean by saying
I want to find a nice guy.
when she says ‘i want to find a nice guy’ meaning she’s been dicked over so many times and she wants to find someone who is normal and can treat her right. she’s probably thinking long term.
now, if she’s saying that a guy, she’s probably only thinking of him as a friend.
“I’m emotionally unavailable” or “I’m not ready for a relationship right now” seem like more ways to say no. Or maybe she’s game for some NSA fun?
i think it means that, THAT chick just isn’t the one who does it for him and he’s hoping to get away with NSA.
I agree with bobby. Guys aren’t that hard to understand most of the time. I think the problem is that girls tend to over analyze what a guy says. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve over analyzed what girls have said to me too. But that’s mostly because girls, like you said Vanae, give “clues” rather than straight answers. I think the rule of thumb for guys is “the simplest explanation is usually the right one.”
A problem I see with this challenge is that it is usually hard to assign generic meaning to a phrase without context. A lot of the time it is easier to interpret what was said by the opposite sex in a specific situation. So generic interpretations are really a type of mental masturbation. Of course, that’s not saying we shouldn’t practice.
ok , but why are women don’t want to be confrontational ? because they’re shy , but we r shy too and we say it even after or in a presure!
because we don’t want to come off needy, desperate or intense. so we use our ‘social communication’ skills to investigate. ha
Lets be friends, paaleeese! I don’t think ANY
woman over the age of 21 should EVER use that term.
In fact, I think it should be thrown out all together.
The term “Let’s be friends” is “littlegirleeze”;
a selfish cop-out for not having any sense of accountability, and leaves too, too much room for misinterpretation.
And as far as men go, I personally don’t know ANY men who have EVER used that term. Give me a break, no straight man ever wants to be just friends with a woman anyway.
Unless you’re some selfish, little insecure witch, sending mixed messages to some pathetic little schmuck, who likes bitching to your friends about having a man you don’t even like hovering around to validate your desirability.
Save yourselves and that poor little man a whole
lot of time and grief. Stop beating around the
bush with all of the hints and shit, using sorry assed term “lets be friends”, and use or paraphrase Vanea’s TRANSLATION, it’s an excellent example of what should be said. If you say that to a guy and he still don’t get it? Call the police, Honey!
ekkk..a bit harsh here ron. everyone has said this line once or two before. (guys or girls)
You know,for someone as logical and educated as you, Vanae. I’m surprised you would think what I said was “eek, a bit harsh”. I wonder, did you
read my comment in its entirety? Or did you just read a few lines,saw something you didn’t like and went straight to the comments before reading, listening, thinking about what was written,like most of my black sisters do? I’m just keeping it real, and leaving no real excuses for anyone to ever have to use that line again without being at least mentally accountable. Like the warning sign on a poison bottle, only a fool or an illiterate would not take heed and drink the poison anyway.
Your translation of the “I think we should be friends” line seems right, Vanae. Here’s a possible wrinkle that speaks to the context Andrew raised. One female friend talks regularly about how, in bars and clubs especially, it’s the cocky, even in-your-face guys who tend to hit on women. She calls them NYPs (New York Predators; gotta love the hometown
. Anyway, with that rabble around, maybe the proposal to be friends isn’t always completely negative — about the romance she’s not feeling — but could be positive — suggesting that she might actually want you as a friend because you’re not a sociopath.
“I’m emotionally unavailable” or “I’m not ready for a relationship” usually means you’re not Mr. Right, you’re just Mr. right now.
If a woman hits you with the old cliche’: “I love you, but I’m not in love you” it is obviously you’re opportunity to be confused. I have no clue what that saying means, but once it is said, the relationship is in limbo, & near progression or ending.
i know exactly what ‘i love you but i’m not in love with you’ because i felt that way towards one of recent exs.
it meant: i love who you are and you’re special to me, but you’re not the one for me. i can’t see a long term with you because i’m not head over heels. i don’t feel the magic.
I have fallen into that “i think we should friends” category on more than one occasion. Nowadays, when I meet someone who peeks my interest, I pay more attention to her body language than to what she says because, yeah, women are very, very cryptic. Vanae is right, women will not come upfront because they don’t want to be seen as needy, clingy, desperate or in some cases slutty. Stuff women do like: uncrossing her legs in front of you while having a conversation, fixing her hair, tossing her hair to see of you are looking, eye contact, touching your shoulders and most of all re-initiating another conversation when YOU just ended the previous one are all subtle signs that she is interested in you as well. Please feel free to debunk me or add more! I can sure some input myself!
Guys mean,…. IM ALREADY SEEING ANOTHER ****!!or at least that’s what it meant when they said it to me….
let just be friends to me mean that the girl just doesn’t want anything physical,and emotional to do with you,to start out as friends and build from there
would be a more mature approach,and sure vanae would agree.i know people who took thier time and have been married a very longtime.i have a saying for you all from russia where love is absent…they say i want to love and be loved..could people give me some feed back on that one
thank you
james
What does it mean when you have known a girl for 2 months just to get close but not too close to find out weather you like them or not and when you do ask the girl out they say “awww im sorry but i look at you like a big brother” ive got this responce in every rejection i have ever gotten and never understood what it meant!!!