was telling this joke my friend today, its a very old joke that we used to tell it when we were kids, but its hilarious.

A King is looking for suitors for his lovely daughter, 3 princes showed up.
The king decided to have a competition and whoever wins it, wins the hand of the princess.
He orders the 3 princes to get as much ping pong balls are possible.
The 3 princes wished good luck to each other and went on their quest.
1 week later, the first prince comes back with a huge truck filled with ping pong balls. the king was impressed.
1 month later, the second prince comes back with a fleet of cargo planes all filled with ping pong balls. The king was extremely impressed.
Months passed and the 3rd prince didn’t return, so the king decided to go ahead and marry his daughter to the second prince.
On the wedding night, the ceremony was interrupted by the 3rd prince coming in clothes torn, bloodied, battered, bones sticking out of his flesh and he was holding two huge bloodied hairy things.
Everybody rushes in to help, and the king yells at him: what the heck happened to you? what are these ugly things? and where are the ping pong balls?
The prince looked up shocked and says: ping pong balls??? I thought you said king kong’s balls!!!!

Handicapped parking signs don’t designate places for handicapped people to park. They’re Chuck Norris’ parking spaces, and are warnings of what will happen to you if you park there.

Up to you if you wanna show your peeps this….

A guy goes to a circus and is told that nothing could make the elephant in the show laugh. So the man strikes a bet with someone, goes to the elephant, whispers something in his hear, and the elephant laughs hysterically. So the guy sits down, people looking at him with awe, yet they felt invalidated b/c they could never get the elephant to show any feeling of any kind, not to mention, laugh. Somebody there says “all right, you may have gotten him to laugh, but I bet you can’t make him cry.” The dude ponders a second, takes the bet, goes up to the elephant briefly, goes behind the curtain that separates the crowd from the circus, makes the elephant cry by what appeared to be a simple gesture, and sits back down. So the people were absolutely shocked and had to ask him how the heck he got the elephant to do both. The guy answers, “well, when I fist went up there, I told the elephant my package was bigger than his.” So then he is asked, “well then how did you get him to cry?” The man humbly answers, “I showed it to him.”

chuck norris’ dick is sooooo long that it has its own elbow

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now known only as the Islands.

When Chuck Norris jumps into the water he doesn’t get wet. The water gets Chuck Norris.

And another one I heard from a comedian =>John Medicine Hat, dude rocks.

Okay, there’s this plane that crashes on a remote uninhabited island. A guy and Angelina Jolie survive. A couple months pass and soon Angelina Jolie and the guy are having sex and its great. One day she comes up to the guy and says,
“You know, you’ve saved my life and have been the reason I’m still alive. If there’s ever anything I can do to make it up to you, let me know.”
The guy looks at her, then looks at the ground to consider for a bit. Looks back up at her, then at the ground again. Finally he looks back up and says,
“Okay, dress like a guy and meet me on the other side of the island.”
She thinks its odd but agrees anyway. So she makes herself look like a boy and they walk around the island the guy going one way and Angelina Jolie going the other.
They get to the other side and the guy sees Angelina Jolie. He runs up and says,
“DUDE! You’re never gonna guess who I’m screwing on the other side of the island!”

Q: what do you say to a pedophile at the beach?
A: get out of my sun.

Q: Why did the udon go to AA?
A: because he wanted to be soba.

i hope everyone that reads this knows what udon and soba are…

I have the best joke everrr.
Womans rights.

hahaha, jk.
I love my ladies out there.

President Barack Obama promises that the next space program will only cost $3000.00. Why? That’s how much Chuck Norris will charge to round house kick the next three astronaut to the moon.

If at first you don’t succeed – you’re not Chuck Norris.

you welcome Vanae

Q. whats the only way to stop a black hole?
A. throw Chuck Norris into the center of it

Chuck Norris has 1260 diffrent ways to kill u in the average room

One that always cracked me up about Chuck Norris is this one.

A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris’ shoe. Chuck replied, “Don’t you know who I am? I’m Chuck Norris!” The mere mention of his name cured this man’s blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse kick delivered by Chuck Norris.

What did the Elephant say to the naked guy?

…it’s cute but can it pickup peanuts?

Here’s a Chuck Norris joke for ya:

Why is Chuck Norris like corn?

Because he can go through so much shit, yet still come out in one piece.