I’ve picked my winners from the Worst Date Story and they will be receiving their prizes in the mail soon!
For this week’s activity, it’s a survey question that I want you to answer:
“If you’ve sent a message to someone on a dating site, but they are not interested…would you rather have them ignore your message OR write back to say they are not interested?
Looking forward to your answers!
Love yah!
Vanae
UPDATE: So ladies and gents, survey says ‘It’s better to message back and let that person know you’re not a match, rather than leaving ‘em hanging’.
I think it’s better to get a message saying ” Sorry, I’m not interested ” than to be ignored.
Cause then we’ll be thinking “oh, she’s probably busy.” or “maybe she got tonnes of mail to read and reply”
It hurts more to be ignored than to be rejected.
I definatly have to agree with Bernard here and say it is much more simple if people would just go ahead and say they are not interested than to totally ignore you you.
I would rather a woman write me back making it clear how she feels and what she wants. The way I see, it’s more honest and productive.
kantutan titi sa pekpek
t*t*, once i get your URL, i will make your life miserable.
Being ignored sucks…. so I would go for rejection so I can look elsewhere.
“why would you force yourself on an elevator that is full…. you prolly have not been noticing the stairs”
I’m sorry titi, please translate to english.
EXACTLY!!!
Titi, what does that mean?
Also, yea the reply would be nice but really attractive women get absolutely bombarded with messages and honestly I don’t think they even have time to reply to every single message…unless they just made an automated reply…that could be fun actually…”I’m sorry [profile 184] but ur just not what i’m looking for at this time. But thank you for your application it will be kept on file and may be reviewed at a later date….”
Point is, what can you learn from this? You have to find a way to make your messages stand out. “wow ur so beautiful” isn’t going to work when every other of the 500 messages she has start out like that. But remember, when you’re thinking of ur unique message the more you think you’re unique the more you’re just like everyone else.
its better to to get the message saying that she isn’t interested in me. to me this sounds like a conversation starter. after this i would probably
kid or joke around asking why she isn’t interested in me. like, “was my picture scary or something.” maybe this would get her attention and make her change her mind or something. yet if that didn’t work i would feel good that she was honest to me and didn’t ignore me
As men, of course we would prefer to know where we stand. We would prefer a concrete answer so we aren’t left wondering. That is a logical want… but women are emotional creatures, not logical ones. Women aren’t built that way.
It would actually be a big step for a woman to write and say ‘Thanks, but I’m not interested.’ Also, a woman may prefer ignoring to answering you for a couple reasons. Women LOVE to be kept guessing. They love to not know where they stand with a new guy (somebody they are not in a relationship with). They may assume a guy likes to be kept guessing. So, it is relatively rare that a woman will reply with what could be considered a “rejection”, though she is really rejecting the match, not you personally. Finally, being an emotional creature (God bless ‘em), she “doesn’t want to hurt your feelings”.
And, as for online dating sites, they simply don’t have time to reply to every guy that writes. This is purely logistical. My half-sister, 20, put up a profile for 2 weeks, no picture, got 200 emails! It’s simply inhumane to ask any human being to reply to that deluge of communication ‘nicely’. Ignoring a large amount of email is a fact of life for a female, not a desire. Life’s not fair. Deal with it.
Very insightful…nicely done sir. You are a scholar and a gentleman.
its a lot better to hear back. even if she is not interested!
It’s best to say “not interested,” otherwise the message isn’t clear. The worst thing you can do is to leave someone hanging or guessing, especially if that person is interested in a relationship.
Just reject me with a message. To ignore me is a waste of my precious time. If I have to use a dating site, which as far as I know they cost money, then you are wasting my time which could be spent finding someone who is interested and in turn wasting my money.
Of course I’d want them to say it upfront instead of letting me hanging and just not feeling closure in the matter, like a gnawing feeling. Cord stated it best; girls don’t want to “hurt your feelings” but actually by ignoring it’s even worse, no?
Of course, she may not have the time to answer every guy but given the opportunity and time, she should.
It would be polite to get a message rather then being ignored. The feeling of assumption is rather irritating, not knowing what the motive is. Whether it’s a good gesture or not, you have the answer you are anticipating. So, please have the courtesy to reply.
Cheers!
If I try to get in touch with someone 2~3 times and if I don’t get a response, I take it as a clear sign that the person isn’t interested. I can understand that it’s not easy to tell someone, “I’m not interested” so I won’t be offended. If the person is actually interested, they will make the time to respond. It only takes a couple of minutes to give someone a call right?
of course reject. is more acceptable. interest or not we at least show anybody respect, and ignoring show no respect.
i would probably not msg her because she might think im desperate.
wow tagalog..
At any rate, i’d much rather get a message saying she’s not interested and know that than wonder about it for some time. it’ll also help you move on and look for other fish in the sea. ya knows?
-Cheers.
a message with “not interested” words in it is better, because it gives a feeling of relief , but ignoring me ,it’s like a hook (let it go or not)
Cord pretty much nailed it! Never had any experiences with online dating sites but I guess it would be better to know right off the bat. Just like in the “real world” it would be great to know where you stand with a girl. And an online dating site should be it! Girls might be coy and let you guess in 3D land because there’s more interaction and more risks factored in. I am assuming that there are lesser risks involved with dating sites, then again I could be wrong. My take would be this: Girls can be as coy as they are on dating sites as they are in the real world.
Wow, i feel guilty; my twin and i used to have online accounts, and we generally didn’t reply to guys we didn’t like. Accordint to most of the comments on here, that wasn’t the best option. Honestly, we didn’t do it to be mean. I thik girls would prefer to be ignored, because then we can come up with excuses like, “well, maybe he got a girlfriend.” Thinking that is A LOT better than thinking that something is wrong with us. But I don’t have any pity for guys that just send something like, “Hey, you’re hot” and are suprised when they don’t get a reply. That’s a bit insulting, considering that we have a profile, and there are loads of other things you could’ve complimented us on then out bodies.
Absolutely let them know with a quick, polite message. It’s just the right thing to do.
Right on Bobby. Agreed.