Comments on: Game Dae Wednesdae: Does profession matter?

By: Nicky

Nicky — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 13:52:49 +0000

Hey
I need some advice, anyone!
I’m 20 years old, and my boyfriend is 24 . (I know, too young to be definite on our future careers!) We’ve been together for a year and as soon as we met, we were so in love and started planning our relationship to be long term (we live on opposite sides of the world so it takes a lot of planning!). I am studying economics and management and hope to have a very exciting job involving lots of travel and continually different situations, meeting new people etc. My partner was, at the time, working on a project as a screenwriter and finishing his masters in literature studies. When we talked, I always got the impression he would end up doing something creative, writing for example. He is very talented and has won awards for this. At times he talked about becoming a high school teacher, and that I could appreciate as I could imagine him interacting with teenagers and passing on knowledge to them.
But recently he lost his job as a screenwriter and started tutoring a group of 8-year-old kids. He says he loves it and now wants to become a primary school teacher. I was really really happy for him knowing he found something he enjoyed so much. But now as I think about it…the thought of spending my life with a primary school teacher…I just always imagined my partner and I would work in jobs with interesting external influences and thus have a life with constant new things to discuss and experience. Being a primary school teachers feels so much to me like he would be constantly enclosed in the same environment which, as rich and rewarding as it would be for him, I just can’t see it contributing in a stimulating way to our joint life as a couple. This really affects me strongly despite the fact that I love him to no end. Perhaps it is also that he sometimes voices uneasiness that I should be interested in such a commercial field of work, and so I am now acutely aware of the differences between us in terms of ambition and expectations. Am I horrible and superficial to feel this way? Or is the career of your life partner a legitimate consideration?
Thanks,
Nicky

By: Kiro

Kiro — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 08:57:16 +0000

Would it be unfortunate if I said yes, it does matter? I think being in a relationship involves responsibility, on all aspects of the relationship. And I would have to add finance to one of those responsibilities. Now the type of job? Maybe not so much as financial status. After all, love doesn’t pay the bills, harsh as it may sound. Just because your in a relationship and in love, doesnt mean you can ignore the reality of the other side of life, which involve paying the bills, saving money, establishing a good financial history should your relationship ever include children.

By: Anon

Anon — Sun, 12 Apr 2009 15:28:04 +0000

HUH!?
Dude, you must be either, a complete idiot or completely bored.

By: Anon

Anon — Sun, 12 Apr 2009 15:23:47 +0000

WHAT !?

By: Vlad

Vlad — Sun, 12 Apr 2009 13:14:19 +0000

This web-site is male-oriented, so I doubt you will get any female prospective here

By: Vlad

Vlad — Sun, 12 Apr 2009 13:08:28 +0000

I always wanted to create a strong family, and I was looking for a girl “just like me”, with similar values in life, etc…

I was not looking at her $$ aspect of her job, but the creative element in it… For me, she could be a low-paid artist, rather than non-creative 9-5 $100k office worker…

Unfortunately, my approach destroyed all my potential relationships… Maybe I shall change my views? And get married with a girl working for McDonalds, or just a simple office clerk?

By: William

William — Sun, 12 Apr 2009 03:11:24 +0000

There is truth in what you say but all other things cannot be equal.
Imagine yourself being super, extremely poor.
If you’re a guy, do you think that rich cougar is going to pick you up? If you’re a girl, do you think that surgeon is going to pay attention to you?(Please excuse me LGBT community) But still, you would yearn for something like that.
For them, do you think profession matters? As long as you’re doing something it’s all good.
This is a reality that sometimes leads people to selling drugs and prostitution. (Ask yourself: Are those professions?)(Now ask yourself again: What is a profession?)
Are you looking for someone who will help you survive? Are you looking for someone whose career matches yours? Are you looking for someone who would pay for everything? Are you looking for someone who wants everything paid for? OR….are you looking for love?
In our society (the US) people are so money-driven, they tend to forget people are people. The tend to look at others and try to see whether and how they are going to affect their status. That’s true.
But, I don’t think you should overgeneralize about people. You have to look at their backgrounds. People have different ways of thinking, different values, different stories, different situations.
For some, as long as you’re doing something it’s fine. For others, you’d better be making bank. For other, I’m not gonna support you. And yet for others, as long as you’re happy doing it, I’m happy.
People are different, yo.

I STILL think we need some female perspective.
VANAE, gurl, where you at?

By: William

William — Sun, 12 Apr 2009 01:55:31 +0000

Damn capitalistic society!

By: Anon

Anon — Sun, 12 Apr 2009 01:08:38 +0000

Give me a freaking’ break! C’mon Vanae, all B.S. aside, let’s be real. ALL OTHER THINGS BEING EQUAL, would you marry a surgeon, making at least $200,000 a year or a man who stocks groceries for $20,000?

Of course profession matters! Especially for women considering a man for a life partner; heck, even a one night stand for that matter. I guarantee you “Joe N.F.L.” will get laid a hell of a whole
lot faster at any social event than “Joe the plumber” ever will. The smell of money for women is an aphrodisiac that hardens her nipples and moistens her underpants. Unless, she’s some wealthy, old cougar looking for a boy-toy, or some young, unattractive, shrinking violet. No woman wants to support a man, and rightfully so. Even the so-called, “independent” ones Neo and other young recording artist spit about these days want a man that has at least what she does; preferably more.

As for a man, looking for a woman as a partner, profession isn’t as important (unless she’s some disease ridden, meth-head, prostitute). It’s not because guys don’t look to the future either. It’s because guys always have, and always will be expected to protect and provide, point blank, bottom line. Because of this: just like you women are looking out for the scrubs. Quiet as it’s kept; you women aren’t perfect either, so we are definitely looking out for the gold-diggers, leeches, and lazy skanks. Heck, nowadays even if a man had the money to support a family totally on his own and his woman chose to remain at home. These young ladies today scoff at anything so degrading as domestic support, and you know what a lot of men complain about after the wedding! No man wants to end up the rest of his young life, wasting his hard earned resources, paying alimony and child support to some sleazy little tart who’s been sleeping around for the brass ring, and the brood of brats he’s not even sure are his, Okay.

By: Alan C.

Alan C. — Sat, 11 Apr 2009 23:17:22 +0000

For the most part, I agree with V in regard to how men don’t care as much, because of our short term focus. However, personally I only ask that a women is focus on a profession and has goals within that profession that they strive to reach. I own my own business and am getting my MBA, but I only want someone who is focus on their own success. At the same time, it would be great to bounce off each other ideas and advice on how we could both reach or individual goals.

My two cents