V’stars, I have to say…I’m loving these survey questions. So, I was talking to a male friend today whether it matters what job or profession she has.
So Game Dae Wednesdae, please answer:
Does his/her profession matter? For example, would it make a difference if he/she works at Walmart, is a pharmaceutical rep or is a Vice President of a company?
I have a theory that guys are more forgiving about the female’s job/career because he doesn’t think long term. (So it wouldn’t matter if she’s working at McDonalds). Whereas, women DO think long term, judges by his profession on what’s his ready for and if he’s on the same page. My thoghts may not apply to those in college or younger, because careerwise, you’re most likely still figuring that out..
The answer depends on the guy’s income level, ambitions, as well as available time.
To me, her profession is irrelevant.
Someone who may be more concerned about the eventual dual income aspect of this relationship will likely have a different opinion.
Pharma reps and startup entrepreneurs have vicious schedules and workloads. I would probably extend that definition to other sales-heavy roles as well. It may actually be easier and more desirable to date someone who is in a more mundane 9-5 role.
I think for me, at least, it is important for a woman to be satisfied and fulfilled by whatever she does. Her happiness will also be defined by self fulfillment and career achievement long after raising kids. So whatever she does it must be fulfilling to her.
While I’d like to think that woman don’t care, it is only instinctual for women to find a mate who has a good job and will provide them with their needs. Furthermore, women tend to like to find mates who will yield better offspring genetically so they may be attracted to men with ‘superior’ jobs. Again this is instinctual.
But in actuality, women don’t always seem to act this way especially any girl under 25 who may be attracted to other male aspects.
By the time men get to be over 30, their career tends to be most important and there seems to be little time for anything else, especially building and maintaining new relationships. One friend told me you have to find someone as busy as yourself. Perhaps, but then it just is never any fun.
WHo knows?
those girls at Hot Dog on a Stick are hot.
i’ve worked so hard on my education & career that i think i missed out a lot in my 20′s and early 30′s. now that i am “settled” in my profession, i want to socialize more and more, but women my age think i’m not serious. can’t i work hard and play hard? i haven’t dated someone over 27 since i was 27. you must have something in here for this topic…
personally, i could care less what she does as long as she does it with passion. the one thing i’ve learned in all my dating experience is that it is so important for them to be driven. it could be as a mother, an artist, or a neuro-surgeon… as long as they have a real focus. otherwise it will all be about me and what i’m doing and i don’t take to that to well.they also need their own friends and social scene.
for me, i don’t mind what the girl works as, as long as it’s an honest way of life.
I agree with you , it doesn’t matter whethter she works or not as long as she’s honest with him and with herself .
guys forgiving, gals thinking long term
spot on, all to do w/ sperm committment
his short term outlook is 5 minutes, hers 9 months
bilologically dating is different
that is all
lol ya guys def dont care what the females profession in. history has been that the men is the bread winner and now up until the recent generations thats been tru. with women now as equals in the work place and men still being shallow i admitt we dont care what u do for a living as long as ur not a hooker lol. women stil want a man to make a good living bc they want to have that feeling they are bein supported
Okay. New rule. No counting out the people in college or highschool. Some of us think ahead too.
I, being a male, honestly don’t think too far ahead into the future on some things. However when it comes to dating I like to plan things out. Girls I think I could see myself with (the girls who are on the track for success like myself) I stay away from as far as romantic relationships go. Sure I’ll be friends with them, but we’re nothing more than that. Friends.
As far as profession goes…I just want her to do something that will make her happy. It doesn’t have to rake in piles of cash. It just has to fall under the standard of morality and we’re good. As long as she works hard I don’t really care what she does.
My case is different. I’m on track to become a doctor currently and this is something I can see myself doing until I can’t do it anymore.
This is to you, V. Do you care what your guy does?
As a guy, I do not care what type of job she has, so long as she is happy. If she is happy, then I am happy. Personally as long as I make a good amount that will satisfy both of our needs, then the occupation (as long as it is legitimate *wink*) does not matter.
I know for a fact that it does matter for women. All the girls I’ve dated, my profession (or profession at that time) said that it was a major part on why we were dating. Right now, I find myself on the other side of the equation because the woman I am dating is making at least 5 times my salary! Because of that, I am seriously thinking about going for a Masters! Then again, it could just be old male fashioned ego here but it always help to know that aspect of the relationship is “somewhat” on even keel. For me, I could really care less whether she runs a company or runs the grill at Burger King, as long as she’s a good person, that’s all that matters! =)
I believe the reason that both sexes believe the way they do is simply old fashoned values. I myself wouldn’t really care how much she makes, so long as she is happy. But then again I seem to be turned off by the flipping burgers routine. I look for something a little more specialized something that she would have to try for. A great example is child care or teaching of some sort. Not much money but something that she wanted to do that fit her. In my perfect world my wife should not have to have an income, so if she felt led to do something pay would not be an issue.
If I like someone I am not going to stop liking them based on where they work, though, I am somewhat judgmental about things like college degrees. Also where a person works usually indicates how intelligent, emotionally stable, and ambitious that person is: I think most men are inclined to like intelligent emotionally stable women. For this reason, if I did like someone who worked at Wall-mart the relationship would not last long(we would have two totally different personalities. I am not concerned with the fiscal situation, however, because my job can provide for me and my future family. The reason men are more forgiving in this situation in my point of view is not because we don’t think long term… it is because somewhere deep inside we still have a need to be the bread winners. I know it is an antiquated way of thinking, but it is also somewhat instinctual.
The difference between guys and girls has a thinner line in the world we now live in when it comes to profession. Before, men were the “bread winners” and women were confined to the house. Not so anymore.
Its definitely attractive when a girl has a lot going for her. It shows strong character and makes that particular girl more interesting. Ne-Yo got it right with “Miss Independent”
Absolutely not. It’s not the profession she currently has, it is about the motivation, and the outlook she has in life. If she motivates me, and I motivate her, then what else would you need? Motivation is the one trait that you need to be able to get anything and everything you ever wanted in your life.
It’s not the profession, per se. It’s about the ambitions and attitudes and other realities (like financial responsibilities, friends, schedules) reflected in the profession. What’s on the business card — assuming there’s a business card — is only one facet of who the person is, even if sometimes the one that’s most conspicuous at the start.
I agree. I think, there are many more aspects that need to be taken into account rather than just being male or female or what the profession is.
You have to look at a person’s background and reasons as to why or why not they work.
A person may not want to work at WalMart or McDonald’s but it could be that it’s the job that pays the rent. Their goals for the future and their determination to accomplish them may be different.
It’s a person’s story and attitude about the future that defines them.
Sometimes a “profession” may blind the observer and impede them from seeing who a person really is.
Not always can someone do what they love or pursue that dream job but the way the LEAD or LIVE their life may be different.
We need a woman’s perspective. Almost everybody who commented is male.
0_0
This web-site is male-oriented, so I doubt you will get any female prospective here
For the most part, I agree with V in regard to how men don’t care as much, because of our short term focus. However, personally I only ask that a women is focus on a profession and has goals within that profession that they strive to reach. I own my own business and am getting my MBA, but I only want someone who is focus on their own success. At the same time, it would be great to bounce off each other ideas and advice on how we could both reach or individual goals.
My two cents
Give me a freaking’ break! C’mon Vanae, all B.S. aside, let’s be real. ALL OTHER THINGS BEING EQUAL, would you marry a surgeon, making at least $200,000 a year or a man who stocks groceries for $20,000?
Of course profession matters! Especially for women considering a man for a life partner; heck, even a one night stand for that matter. I guarantee you “Joe N.F.L.” will get laid a hell of a whole
lot faster at any social event than “Joe the plumber” ever will. The smell of money for women is an aphrodisiac that hardens her nipples and moistens her underpants. Unless, she’s some wealthy, old cougar looking for a boy-toy, or some young, unattractive, shrinking violet. No woman wants to support a man, and rightfully so. Even the so-called, “independent” ones Neo and other young recording artist spit about these days want a man that has at least what she does; preferably more.
As for a man, looking for a woman as a partner, profession isn’t as important (unless she’s some disease ridden, meth-head, prostitute). It’s not because guys don’t look to the future either. It’s because guys always have, and always will be expected to protect and provide, point blank, bottom line. Because of this: just like you women are looking out for the scrubs. Quiet as it’s kept; you women aren’t perfect either, so we are definitely looking out for the gold-diggers, leeches, and lazy skanks. Heck, nowadays even if a man had the money to support a family totally on his own and his woman chose to remain at home. These young ladies today scoff at anything so degrading as domestic support, and you know what a lot of men complain about after the wedding! No man wants to end up the rest of his young life, wasting his hard earned resources, paying alimony and child support to some sleazy little tart who’s been sleeping around for the brass ring, and the brood of brats he’s not even sure are his, Okay.
There is truth in what you say but all other things cannot be equal.
Imagine yourself being super, extremely poor.
If you’re a guy, do you think that rich cougar is going to pick you up? If you’re a girl, do you think that surgeon is going to pay attention to you?(Please excuse me LGBT community) But still, you would yearn for something like that.
For them, do you think profession matters? As long as you’re doing something it’s all good.
This is a reality that sometimes leads people to selling drugs and prostitution. (Ask yourself: Are those professions?)(Now ask yourself again: What is a profession?)
Are you looking for someone who will help you survive? Are you looking for someone whose career matches yours? Are you looking for someone who would pay for everything? Are you looking for someone who wants everything paid for? OR….are you looking for love?
In our society (the US) people are so money-driven, they tend to forget people are people. The tend to look at others and try to see whether and how they are going to affect their status. That’s true.
But, I don’t think you should overgeneralize about people. You have to look at their backgrounds. People have different ways of thinking, different values, different stories, different situations.
For some, as long as you’re doing something it’s fine. For others, you’d better be making bank. For other, I’m not gonna support you. And yet for others, as long as you’re happy doing it, I’m happy.
People are different, yo.
I STILL think we need some female perspective.
VANAE, gurl, where you at?
WHAT !?
Damn capitalistic society!
HUH!?
Dude, you must be either, a complete idiot or completely bored.
I always wanted to create a strong family, and I was looking for a girl “just like me”, with similar values in life, etc…
I was not looking at her $$ aspect of her job, but the creative element in it… For me, she could be a low-paid artist, rather than non-creative 9-5 $100k office worker…
Unfortunately, my approach destroyed all my potential relationships… Maybe I shall change my views? And get married with a girl working for McDonalds, or just a simple office clerk?
Would it be unfortunate if I said yes, it does matter? I think being in a relationship involves responsibility, on all aspects of the relationship. And I would have to add finance to one of those responsibilities. Now the type of job? Maybe not so much as financial status. After all, love doesn’t pay the bills, harsh as it may sound. Just because your in a relationship and in love, doesnt mean you can ignore the reality of the other side of life, which involve paying the bills, saving money, establishing a good financial history should your relationship ever include children.
Hey
I need some advice, anyone!
I’m 20 years old, and my boyfriend is 24 . (I know, too young to be definite on our future careers!) We’ve been together for a year and as soon as we met, we were so in love and started planning our relationship to be long term (we live on opposite sides of the world so it takes a lot of planning!). I am studying economics and management and hope to have a very exciting job involving lots of travel and continually different situations, meeting new people etc. My partner was, at the time, working on a project as a screenwriter and finishing his masters in literature studies. When we talked, I always got the impression he would end up doing something creative, writing for example. He is very talented and has won awards for this. At times he talked about becoming a high school teacher, and that I could appreciate as I could imagine him interacting with teenagers and passing on knowledge to them.
But recently he lost his job as a screenwriter and started tutoring a group of 8-year-old kids. He says he loves it and now wants to become a primary school teacher. I was really really happy for him knowing he found something he enjoyed so much. But now as I think about it…the thought of spending my life with a primary school teacher…I just always imagined my partner and I would work in jobs with interesting external influences and thus have a life with constant new things to discuss and experience. Being a primary school teachers feels so much to me like he would be constantly enclosed in the same environment which, as rich and rewarding as it would be for him, I just can’t see it contributing in a stimulating way to our joint life as a couple. This really affects me strongly despite the fact that I love him to no end. Perhaps it is also that he sometimes voices uneasiness that I should be interested in such a commercial field of work, and so I am now acutely aware of the differences between us in terms of ambition and expectations. Am I horrible and superficial to feel this way? Or is the career of your life partner a legitimate consideration?
Thanks,
Nicky