You never know what you have in common with someone until you open up. Last night, I called back one my v’stars (subscribers) because he wanted some advice. In the course of our conversation, I found out that we both related on something deep: our loss of a father and brother.
Had he not reached out to me, i would never discovered this. Many people don’t know about my loss. Those who do, are surprised because I’m an optimistic person and wouldn’t think I have tough times. But everyone has their pains and obstacles. I did and do. I accepted the pain. I chose to not let that control my life. I chose to LIVE LIFE FOR THEM. You might not be able to stop bad things from happening to you, but you always have to choice on how to deal with it. Open up.
It was the first time that I met someone I could relate to about my dad and brother. It was a rush of emotions and IT FELT GREAT. We had an hour conversation about reading, the challenges and the current journey dealing with loss. As much as he thought I helped him, he also helped me.
What I’ve learned about getting closer to closure:
1. Don’t keep things bottled up
If you do, it’ll explode just like a volcano. Open to someone, whether it be a close one, a professional (therapist) or me. You’ll feel a substanial release and learn more about yourself
2. Express
Document what you are going through by writing or drawing. Write down your thoughts every day, so that you can reflect back and see your changes. Be proud of how you’ve progressed. If you’re more of a visual person, then draw!
3. Accept the pain and loss
Whether it’s a death or a break-up, dealing with loss is a process: accepting, dealing, awareness, open, and being positive
Vanae’s tip of the dae: – Reach out and open up about your deepest thoughts and sorrow, you’ll never know how someone can connect with you. This will help provide closure for you.
How did you deal with loss? Who did you open up to?
Vanae’s album of the week: Timeless by Sergio Mendes
You can check it out here:
Sergio Mendes is one of the classics of bossa nova (Brazilian Samba Jazz). This album is a fabulous modern hip hop twist to bossa nova classics! It’s great music to boost up your mood, feel appreciative or to contemplate to.
Nice to know, you opened up , problem with that is, some people like to take advantage. So its a risky business when you let out your feelings to someone, especially when they dont feel confident about themselves; they may use it against you later on and recall your feelings to make fun of you. So, when I share my feelings, its got to be with the most deepest person I can find , really, not just anyone, cause people today are a little insane in the brain, if you kknow what I mean lol
do what you feel comfortable with.
many people who reach out to me and disclose deep/personal stuff, which i feel very grateful that they do.
so for some people, it’s easier to open up to strangers. for some people, it’s easier to open up to people you trust.
no matter what, as long as there is someone you can open up to. =)
I’ve had way too many loses to even mention, all major in my life. You’re advice is the right advice. I, however, haven’t been able to open that bottle and let it out. I’m really happy that you and the caller did
thanks bobby,
have you tried to open up but couldn’t..or it’s just not the right time yet?
Here Here Bobby!!
Well put.!.
Ohh BTW, snow boarding season is comming REALLY soon guys! so let’s be safe this season and best of luck thrashing.
snowboarding!
i haven’t gone in years…though i did spend my new years in the snow!
i’m a california girl, so i’ve only been in a snow a few times…i do know how appreciate all the snow i can get.
building snowmen, sledding, snowball fights!
hey can i call you i really need help with this problem im having, well pretty much its a question about a guy and i need help can you emaile me so that we can talk on the phone or emaile each other. thanks.
i replied to your email =)
Vanae you need an 800 number! 1-800-vadvice . . . oops that’s a PI’s phone number lol.
Thank you Locus
“have you tried to open up but couldn’t..or it’s just not the right time yet?”
Hi Vanae, thank you so much for even asking this question, it’s very compassionate of you!
The quick answer is yes I have tried, numerous times, but no it never feels like the right time. The funny thing is that so many people come to me for advice because they trust my opinion, yet I can’t seem to follow any of the advice that I would give someone in this situation for myself.
That’s all I’ll say in an open post, but just that you asked made my day
of course i care =)
just don’t give up on opening up. the right time will confirm when you least expect it
From your lips to God’s ears Vanae
I live my life as a very positive person, and although not there yet, I keep having faith and believe that your words are true. But even if I don’t heal, I still have the ability to help others to heal, that brings light into my life