as exciting as it is to hear yourself talk for an epic amount of time, don’t do that to people. there’s always someone on the other line or in front of you. so be mindful.
the other night, i spoke to this guy on the phone for the first time. after i responded to one question he asked me, he went on and talked about himself for literally 15 minutes. he chatted about how free-spirited he is. how open minded he is. how women be scared because of his openness. he talked about all of his own qualities before i could find out for myself. i could’ve read the entire dictionary before he even knew that i hadn’t spoken more than 2 sentences. i guess he didn’t sense my deep sighs and rolling of eyes. after at least 45 min later, i politely ended the conversation. being honest that we’re not a match, i gave him feedback on this very topic.
has this happened to you?
the objective of getting know someone on the phone is to get to know each other(uh, genius)….and get a feel for chemistry. ultimately, you two are determining if there will be a follow-up conversation or a date, even.
vanae’s tip of the dae: don’t talk about yourself too much! be sure to keep a balanced conversation by inquiring about him/her to show genuine interest. if you’ve been talking more than 5 minutes, you should stop yourself and ask the other person a question. or you’ll spend the rest of the night talking to your lonely self. for reals.
vanae’s track of the dae: computer love by covox
Nice tip indeed, Vanae. Looking back to my old relationship, what you said is so true.But I have a tendency to talk too much about myself when I have real chemistry for the girl. What I didn’t know, as you said, it is supposed to be an adventure and it kills the fun of knowing each other(the girl’s part) if I lay out everything for her already. I used to think expose yourself and you’ll gain her trust, but you are right. It is supposed to be like a volley ball game. But what about those awkward silence when the other player doesn’t return the ball despite your effort? Any tips, Vanae? Thank you!!!
Oh, by the way. Your subject reminds me of the movie Smart People (2008), by Dennis Quaid and Sarah Jessica Parker.
Have you ever had someone tell you that you seem to talk about yourself a lot? Or perhaps you tend to notice that people seem to avoid being around you or having long conversations with you. Either way it simply means that you may spend way to much time talking about yourself. There are however several ways that you can break yourself out of this really bad habit. Is that it? Lmao! It could be that you are just a self centered person and think that the world revolves around you. Or it could be that you are a good person at heart and just don’t realize that you are constantly talking about yourself.
me my self prefer to be a good listener even it’s realy annoying me… hmm.. well…
Excellent topic.
I have had many conversations in which none of my questions are reciprocated. I’m forever amazed that some people are willing to sit in awkward silence then to ask me about myself. In my younger years I did not notice this about some of my relationships as I was in awe of the other person and less focused on what I needed/deserved.
I regard these one way conversations as ‘red flags’, signaling to me that this person is not for me.
Learn to capitalize the beginning of your sentences.