Are you a female who dated a younger guy?
Or an older male dating a younger female?
Share your experience.
I have definitely dated older men (5 years or older) because they were mature, stable and know what they want.
What are your thoughts on this week’s episode of Vanae.com Show on Age Difference:
Back when people used to arrange marriages, & trade off springs for farm animal, the traditionally accepted age difference was 7 years difference. The man was supposed to be older.
I’d say that age difference made the maturity levels more equal.
Best relationship I ever had was when the female was about 4 years older. It seems like the relationship is more interesting when the female is older.
The psychological theories on this topic are always interesting. Men looking to feel young again, females feeling empowered over the younger man, Man or woman dating a “parent figure”, & so on.
yeah, our parent’s generation and cultures that still carry-on arranged marriages..it’s common to see the age gap.
i agree with you, the psych that goes with it, is a trip.
Oh yeah…..congratz on Berkley!
gracias keith!
I’ll be there tomorrow. As a guy, will there be stuff that applies to me or am I gonna seem like the creepy dude who shows up at events aimed at women?
I’ve gone both ways (so to speak): from dating a woman seven years older to another ten years younger. Interestingly, the younger woman was much more mature than the older one. They were both great, though, and we were right for each other at the respective times we shared. You’re exactly right, Vanae, that honesty about intentions was a special key in dealing with both age differences.
10 yrs older, 10 yrs younger. nice.
it really boils down to the individual, i’m sure.
thanks for sharing david!
I have dated much much younger women and one much older woman.
My experimentation has resulted on a variety of responses. 1st Much younger women are awesome. Why for one thing I am a man who has the personality of a 30 year old. Plus I simply do not look more than a day older than 30ish. I am much older.One might ask. Am I immature for my age? No My psyche suggests I am simply very much alive and refuse to become bitter and angry like most baby boomers(ooops). I have never been married and I do not have children. Most adults of my age group have been married and divorced at least once.This tendency to jump from lily pad to lily pad tends to emotionally scar people both male and female.The best bet is to wait until Both are TOLD by God and no one other than God to “Go for it”. I have held back when I should have pulled the trigger(So-to-speak).Now I await on God any takers out there!!!The prospective lady must be sweet petite at least 35. Sexual promiscuity is sin and besides this it makes one tired of the same thing time after time with no commitment to another. This soon can become mental,emotional,and physical masturbation. Where is the sense of fulfillment in that? This is all IMHO. The -G Meister
I Agree with Keith.. “Men looking to feel young again”.
One year ago, I got a date with a girl 7 years younger than me. I can say, it was better than my ex girlfriend before. who was 2 years younger than me.
Younger girls are more ( I don’t know) they like to move a lot, party, go everywhere, they got energy all the time. it was just cool. and as Vanae said, you have to feel comfortable with it. And I also feel that way. we both. but I don’t know what happened…
But it didn’t last for so long, in 3 months it was over, because she didn’t know what she really wants, first, they want mature man, stable, etc.. but when they feel like, this is going too serious, they try too pull back.
I think that younger girls want older guys, because boys of her age are still to childish, and they give more attention to friends than give attention to the girl..but older guys don’t. but I think that after a period, the girl would let her childishness show up.
and at the end, you stay hearth breaked.
Greetz from Holland.
Rick.
i’ll confirm, from at least my point of view, that i tend to date older men (at least 3 yrs older) because they’re still not ‘figuring out’ their ducks…and ready for a more serious relationship since they’ve gone through much.
thanks for the greetings from holland,
warm sunshines from california!
vanae
Older or younger does not really matter much… They have different personalities which does not necessary depend on their age… There are many others things to consider… However if we have a big age difference we start thinking about the long-term future. That is the problem, we should not worry much…. Whatever happens – will happen…
Hey! How are you guys! Well from personal experience I think older guys are the better pick for me. I am 21 and my ex-husband of 6yrs is 23, a yr ago he cheated on me with a 30yr old woman who got pregnant by him in 4 months after getting together and us breaking up… hhmm .. I have no kids, and I am currently getting my life together, thanks to his (i dont want to feel tied down to a responsibility attitude… THESE WERE HIS WORDS TOO) Now he has a kid by a woman he hardly knows..and of course.. freedom gone cause the girl already had a 2yr old kid from another relationship… so now he has 2 kids!! I am currently talking to this 27 yr old guy who has his shyt straight and is ready to have a serious relationship,he is already past the (im not sure this is what i want phase) and is a lot more mature than my ex. My ex ruined every little dream I had and broke my heart to little tinny pieces thanks to being young and not a very mature person. Now I am trying to get to know this older guy, and is harder for him to get through, thanks to what happened, which definetly left its mark….. So young girls are not all looking for short term and young guys still do not know what they want, and some older women actually like to break up young marriages to feel like they still GOT IT. If you ask me… I’ll stick to the older guys.. and let the older women have their 3 yr old relationships with 20 yr old men….
I’m sorry for you. I dated an older divorcee (sp??) whose ex cheated on her to. I can see a lot of her in your writing. She was very damaged and it definitely affected what we had. I know it is hard but try not to get bitter. For all the men you will date in the future that are really worth your while. Do it for them. Try to let go of the anger and the betrayal. Be cautious but try to trust again.
When I was 18 I got my first real job, (yay for me) and well I was captivated by an older women at the workplace there was about a 10 year difference I felt that we really connected. I dont know if it was because I liked the way that she exerted her power over me (she was my sup) i really dont know i guess i like to be manipulated… well anyways it didnt last for very long it went on for about 4 months then she decided to start introducing me to her friends and family, pretty soon after that we just kind of dissolved. I got a better paying job and little by little we stopped talking. I’m guessing it was just a fling like you said but it all came out good i guess. and its pretty much true… about the whole get much more experience faster by dating an older person than you. another thing that i noticed was that I’m not really attracted to young girls anymore…
HI!! from my personal experince if ur dating an older woman just make sure you are very mature, know what you want in life, good stavility and dont be Dreamer just “tenga en mente” that there is a 50% that things are going to work so that way you wont get hurt if you do just look it from a positive point of view you have gaing experince and things will work well the next time you date an older woman.
iam 21 years old and i’m actually dating a 26 year old girl but you know i belive love can be simple as long there is a conection even the most simple thing can be come amazing as long is done with ~~the heart.~~
by the way vanea your videos are great.
my bad “Vanae”
I LOVE older women. Actually, I love ALL women, but while I am NOT secure in my career or finances since I’m still in graduate school, I find older women appreciate my lifestyle more, and we have more in common as far as what kind of dates we want to go on. I’m 29: many 26 year old’s still want to play beer pong, whereas I’d rather share a bottle of wine and play a game of scrabble. Of course, I’ll out dance ANYBODY, so it’s a matter of wanting to stay at home more, it’s that older women often WANT the men they date to plan more creative and intellectual dates. Every woman over 30 I know thinks it’s awesome that I go to book readings/signings at indie bookstores; everyone under 25 thinks it’s strange. Older women are also more assertive sexually. And who doesn’t love that?!?!!!!
thanks vanae you def. posted this video without wait haha very nice really shows you care about your V stars ^_^ ive always dated girls older than me usually 3-5 years older but the maturity level was the same as the girls my age. i guess younger people can be more wiser and mature than older people sometimes huh. maybe its just the girls i date dont seem to be understanding …at all haha and they always seem to have trust issues i dont cheat or don’t give off any vibes of cheating they just automatically think im cheating. when i was 17 i remember being with a 21 year old girl. everything was good and i decided to join the army and and she was ok with it but the dumb broad thought i was gonna cheat on her with an army girl at basic training which was impossible at an ALL GUYS BOOT CAMP ANYWAYS so she cheated on me while iw as gone thinking “she’ll cheat on me before i cheat on her.fro an older girl you think she would of been smarter. she got drunk and told my brother he told me i left her ass when i got back.maybe age doesnt defy maturity…at all
Totally agree with the biological clock ticking thing. I dated a 27 yr old woman when I was 18 for 2 years. Now I’m dating more my age which is alright, but there are a lot of immature girls out there. I guess it goes both ways huh?
Good topic vanae!
When I was 22, my friend Dave F. in Hayward used to get our band to practice in his parents garage. We were mostly hard rock.
Anyway, these days she’d only occur to me as a child, but back then, Dave’s super gorgeous 15 yr. old sister Julie would mercilessly flirt w/me on breaks. Being the man I am I had to put a stop to this but w/out insulting anyone.
One day I was having a smoke in the front yard right outside the kitchen window where her mom was inside doing dishes. The window was open. It was a hot day. Anyway, Julie was messin’ w/me again and this time just came out and asked. “What’s the youngest girl you’ve ever gone out with?”
I thought to myself then that now is my opportunity to shock her out of messin’ w/me like that all the time. And I know the Mom was listening, as well she should have been. So, I said, “15! Why?” and held my gaze. In the window the mom stood straight up and Julie was so shocked, couldn’t say a thing. Then I couldn’t hold it in anylonger. So, I then said, “But I was 15 at the time I went out w/her.” And Julie just sighed in relief and we both heard the mom laugh so hard she had to leave the kitchen to conceal herself.
I accomplished 2 awesome things. Got Julie off my back and assured the Mom I had no intentions of any kind w/her. Julie was a good kid. Really sweet. Used to bring me cup cakes and stuff before I reallized that in just accepting them, it may have occurred that I led her on. She’s now happily married w/two kids.
Hi,
I dated three girls older than me,
When I was 19 I dated 22 she was okay and we were kind of in love but my feelings were like she is a kid, we never slept only hanging out.
And when I was 20 I dated 40 years old lady, I enjoyed but later I got bored of her stories. Still respect her but nothing more, we hadn’t been in love at all.
Now when I’m 22 Years old I dated 30 years old girl she is an Asian, even we broke a month ago but it’s been the best ever that I’ve got… and really i was happy with her.
Now days I’m dating a girl with (27 years) and she does not know that… but I feel she loves me. I’m looking to break up the relation cuz I don’t feel it’s going to work.
God I never been with a girl in my age range..
I don’t normally drink beer, but when I do, I drink Dos Eques.
I am 25, and I’m dating a guy 15 years older than me. Not sure what inially attracted me to him; it could have been his sincerity, his attractiveness, ambition, and of course (his maturity). He had two kids and was going through a difficult divorse. I found myself helping out (watching kids, cooking meals, buying clothes and food to get him through). I’m lost because – instead of being young, partying, and alive – I’m constantly between battles of their marital debt, and raising two children. As much as I love them, I feel that I am the one that may not be ready nor mature enough for this relationship. It has been two years, and I’m at the point where I’m ready for family – I feel like the odd man out, is that too much to ask when I work 50-60 hours a week, clean, cook, and raise two children so early in life?!. Age scares me, but never kept me from me from moving forward. However we are fighting a lot because I don’t feel the connection a parent would have unless it was their own child. Not sure if the age difference will continue to work out in my situation much longer.