Vanae: Your Relationship Guide

Hey V’stars!

In the last 2 weeks, you’ve been requesting this topic: ‘Should I go for my friend’s ex?’. This is very tricky area! Personally, I don’t believe in sloppy seconds and plus my girlfriends and I have very different taste in men. Hence, I will never venture into jeopardizing my friendship with any of my girlfriends. Love interests are a dime in a dozen!

You wouldn’t want to jeopardize your friendship. Let me tell yah…most people you are/will be interested in are not worth messing up your friendship… UNLESS you truly believe he/she is really THE ONE.

Here’s what you do:

1. Weigh out the consequences. How close are you with that friend? Is it worth it? If so…
2. Out of respect: Talk to your friend about how she/he feels about you dating their ex
3. Once you get ‘approval’, then go for it!
4. Keep in mind, that even if your friend gives the green light, that doesn’t mean your interest will reciprocate the feelings

What do you think? Have you dated a friend’s ex?

Vanae’s tip of the dae: Friendships (especially close friendships), lasts a lot longer than love interests! So give it much thought and consideration and be sure to talk to your friend before charting in nasty territory!

I’m definitely not talking about rich-money wise! I’m talking about rich in life! Rich in experience and travels!

The more enriched you are with life and it’s goodness, the more you can share, build interesting stories and relate to people. It’ll bring this aura about you…Most importantly, it’s for yourself, so:

1. TRAVEL
I find global people, very intriguing because of their capacity to understand people and thirst for adventure. There’s so many amazing cultures and experiences waiting for you. GO FOR IT!

2. INDULGE IN HOBBIES
Not only does this give you a balance to your life of work and play, but it’s a healthy outlet. Having fun hobbies also reflect who you are and she/he would love to hear all about it!

3. VOLUNTEER
Give yourself. This is a sure way to fill your life up with more meaning and connect with people. Your compassion will lead your heart in the right direction.

4. LAUGH
Take yourself lightly and laugh. Go to comedy clubs. Reminisce great memories with friends. Watch Dave Chappelle’s ‘Killing Them Softly’. Visit failblog.org. Laugh at the simple little things

Vanae’s tip of the dae: Live a rich life because happiness and depth is priceless. Go beyond your boundaries and absorb as much life as possible! I know I did, when I completed my marathon this past Sunday in Honolulu. All the people who stood in the rain at 6am to cheer us on! All the costumes that the marathoners were wearing. The 10 year old sons who ran along the side of mom and dad in the race. Most of all, pursuing and completing one of my life goals with all my loved ones and memories as fuel to the finish line.

How do you enrich your life?

We all been been-there-done-this! I know I went through one 4 years ago and came out of it stronger and here to share my experience. Unhealthy relationships are usually with the one we fell flat-on-our-face-for. So intense that you lose yourself! But you need to recognize the damage before becoming handicapped.

Signs that your relationship is unhealthy:

1. Your significant other is the only person you hang out with
2. You flake out on people & responsibilities to spend more time with your gf/bf
3. There’s abuse (mental, verbal, physical, emotional) from either sides
4. You have no support system besides him/her
5. Deep down, you feel like you’ve lost yourself
6. You’re constantly disappointed
7. There’s constant jealousy and no trust
8. He/she restricts you (hanging out with certain people, goals)

Get out of there as soon as possible, or you’ll build up so much resentment that you’ll explode! If you do, it’ll be too late to salvage a friendship.

Gain a healthy relationship through:

A. Balance
She/he can be an important part of your life, but not what your life is all about. You need to balance your time, priorities, wants, needs and self.

B. Communication
Don’t let things bottle up inside. Be sure to communicate effectively to improve your connection. If you there’s something bothering you, then tell her/him that.

C. Understanding
Take the time to listen and understand where she/he is coming from. This will help with patience and it’ll strengthen your bond. She/he will feel like they can open up to you.

D. Independence
A person who can hold their own (opinion, goals, thoughts, social life) shows independence. No one wants a super slingy person.

When did you realize it was an unhealthy relationship? How did you get out of it?

watching this campaign by matt harding brought me extra inspiration for me to take on the world.
it’s the human connection, the vivid beauty of this planet and it’s cultures, and the smiles across the globe.

i have a plan in mind that i’ve been working on to do a global campaign, that will be released in january 2009. watch out! vanae’s coming to your neck of the world! and you heard it first here.

let’s enjoy matt’s video: