“Throw your heart out in the name of your life purpose, even when you don’t know what will happen. Sometimes it will break, and then there is growth.” – Karen Kimsey-House

It is so easy to shut down your heart and promise yourself after a devastating heartbreak, to never FEEL that again. I know, I’ve been there a few times. Being numb and going through the motions. Sometimes being so jaded and guarded with your armor and you don’t even realize it.

I want to share this beautiful article with you, Disrupt Your Life in a Good Way, Pt. 1: Don’t Fear Heartbreak… It’s Growth by Karen Kimsey-House. She writes:

“I noticed that we human beings expend an inordinate amount of time and energy protecting our hearts from shattering. The cost? We become armored and narrow and stop evolving. In fact, the only way we can evolve is when our sense of what we know and trust is destroyed…Staying static doesn’t work because everything is always evolving and changing around us. If we attempt to avoid going with the flow, we meet with resistance or begin to fold into ourselves. We’re either expanding or contracting, living in the flow in an affirming life or stuck in a diminishing life…

We all must make an important decision: Will our heart be shriveled and closed, or open and bruised?…Fortunately, the human heart can be shattered over and over and still recover. The heart is the most amazing construct in the universe. It’s an ever-expanding, infinitely heal-able and resilient learning instrument. Yet we tend to protect it like it’s a fragile, shriveled thing. It needs to break — it’s the only way it grows. Experience helps too, but heartbreak has really taught me the most.”

So true. It was from my devastating heartbreak that I grew the most – extending my understanding of self, what I want in the next relationship, how to contribute to a healthy relationship, lessons gained and how this helped me refine my being.

I know that with each time that I allowed myself to open up to love again, I feel those butterflies and those intense emotions of being alive. I can feel again. And heartbreak sometimes comes with the territory. But boy, did it feel great to FEEL. And my heart heals, became stronger and my soul became wiser.

So perhaps you’ve shielded your heart because at some point a love gave you deep disappointment.

Perhaps you felt that were wronged in the past and never wanted to trust again.

Perhaps you locked your vulnerability away to survive, like this woman mentioned in Karen’s article, “a woman who had become so hardened and so calculating that she couldn’t let anyone inside. She talked about how hard it had been to make it in a man’s world, about how she had learned never to let her underbelly show or to let them see her sweat. She started to shake, then cry, then wail. Her heart was breaking because she realized the worldview she’d concocted for survival had cost her more than it was worth… and it was now shattered. One at time, we each went up to her and touched her gently to let her know we were there. She cried for a long time… years, maybe decades, of armor melted off of her.”

Just remember how resilient you are.
How resilient your heart is.
And remember what you’ve gained from vulnerability.

I’d rather be alive, then be a walking emotionless-shell, jaded and blinded to opportunities. Wouldn’t you?

To read the rest of this beautiful article, click http://huff.to/J2QCCC.

I thought I’d respond with this video series- which is a parody for people requesting for this advice and the silly stereotypes of asian women. Enjoy! and please share if you found this series, funny. Thanks to Steve at APA Channel for his incredible filming skills & editing!

Josh is one of the few dating coaches that knows body language and touch. Watch this episode so you can get the best advice on when and how to touch a female in an interaction!

http://vanae.com/badass

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“The minute I heard my first love story,
I started looking for you, not knowing
how blind that was.
Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere.
They’re in each other all along.”
? Rumi

Many of us spend most of our lives searching for our other halves – as if we are incomplete until we find “THE ONE”. And inevitably, this hunt sets up expectations that bring disappointment that then becomes misery. Familiar with this process?

We become jaded and doubtful. “So where is this THE ONE person?” or “This relationship was supposed to be the one”. Worse, we lose sight of ourselves and the beauty of life itself.

I have learned from my personal journey of love, and from the gift of Vipassana, that I’d been searching in vain for my other half, when it’s been with me all along.

The fact is…I am whole. And YOU ARE complete and whole just as you are.

Too often, people seek coaching with me because they believe there’s something inherently wrong with them… Don’t seek coaching to fix yourself. You’re not broken. We are human … we are designed to be imperfect. Coaching will work best for you when you seek it because you love to learn, and to evolve into a more conscious individual, with inner fulfillment, and stronger connections to others.

People seek businesses coaches, not because they think their business sucks and think it’s inherently messed up. People seek business coaches to expand their business, expand and evolve. If we take the same approach to dating and personal development, we can also expand and evolve this compassion and space, and share that tremendous growth in your mind and in your heart.

Find that love within yourself and in the community. Because when you take yourself off this pointless search for love, when you understand and trust that the love you seek from your future partner has been with you all along, you’ll naturally take the steps in the right direction.

Bootycalls…we’ve had them before and want them now. Not that I’m condoning or condeming bootycalls, but if you are in this situation currently, someone’s gotta tell you straight up…and that person is me.

Please enjoy the new episode on Bootycall Etiquette. What tips do you have?

For the past month, I have been presenting to a local high school and youth group in regards to un/healthy dating & teen dating violence. It’s staggering how prevalent abusive relationships are taking place for young people and what they have bare witnesses to (domestic violence at home). I was blown away of how many freshmen high schoolers have already experienced or is currently experiencing Teen Dating Violence. Here’s my new web-episode sharing the signs of unhealthy dating, how to know if you’re in an abusive relationship and how to get help as the one being abused or being the abuser. Please share this video and blog posts with those you care about.