I find myself having great conversations with friends (in their mid 20′s to mid 60′s) about:
* re-inventing
* re-discovering
* re-loving themselves

And process of rejuvenating and restarting that happens at any age and any stage. It’s a grand part of life. If that wasn’t the case, then life would be too stale, easy and stagnant, wouldn’t it?

I wanted to share this excellent article that Shauna Niequist wrote for Relevant Magazine, giving excellent important things to know as a 25′ish year old. Looking back to my 20′s, these were valuable lessons I’ve learned to be true and glad that Shauna wrote about it eloquently and succinctly. I’m not advocating the “God” part that she integrates into this article (since I don’t advocate that type of religious/spiritual part) but everything else she writes, is spot on. This definitely is a great reminder for those in their 40′s, 50′s and on.

and guess what? It’s never too late. Pick it up now and ownz it!

One important tip I would add to Shauna’s great list is “Hone Your Writing Skills“.
Writing is one of those skills you don’t realize is used in every aspect of your life (work, expression, school, etc) until you get older. Start young and improve your writing skill. Write A LOT and find your voice so to that you come enjoy it. That’s one thing I wish I realized earlier, now that blogging is part of what I do

So without further ado, onwards with Shauna’s “Things To Know at 25(ish):

“1. You Have Time to Find a Job You Love

Now is the time to figure out what kind of work you love to do. What are you good at? What makes you feel alive? What do you dream about? You can go back to school now, switch directions entirely. You can work for almost nothing, or live in another country or volunteer long hours for something that moves you. There will be a time when finances and schedules make this a little trickier, so do it now. Try it, apply for it, get up and do it.

When I was 25, I was in my third job in as many years—all in the same area at a church, but the responsibilities were different each time. I was frustrated at the end of the third year because I didn’t know exactly what I wanted to do next. I didn’t feel like I’d found my place yet. I met with my boss, who was in his 50s. I told him how anxious I was about finding the one perfect job for me, and quick. He asked me how old I was, and when I told him I was 25, he told me I couldn’t complain to him about finding the right job until I was 32. In his opinion, it takes about 10 years after college to find the right fit, and anyone who finds it earlier than that is just plain lucky. So use every bit of your 10 years: try things, take classes, start over.

2. Get Out of Debt and Stay Out of Debt

Part of being a healthy, mature adult is learning to live within your means all the time, even if that means going without things you think you need, or doing work you don’t love for a while to be responsible financially. The ability to adjust your spending according to your income is a skill that will serve you your whole life.

There will be times when you have more money than you need. In those seasons, tithe as always, save like crazy, and then let yourself buy fancy shampoo or an iPad or whatever it is you really get a kick out of. When the money’s not rolling in, buy your shampoo from the grocery store and eat eggs instead of steak—a much cheaper way to get protein. If you can get the hang of living within your means all the time—always tithing, never going into debt—you’ll be ahead of the game when life surprises you with bad financial news.

I know a lot of people who have bright, passionate dreams but who can’t give their lives to those dreams because of the debt they carry. Don’t miss out on a great adventure God calls you to because you’ve been careless about debt.

3. Don’t Rush Dating and Marriage

Now is also the time to get serious about relationships. And “serious” might mean walking away from a dating relationship that’s good but not great. Some of the most life-shaping decisions you’ll make during this time will be about walking away from good-enough, in search of can’t-live-without. One of the only truly devastating mistakes you can make in this season is staying with the wrong person even though you know he or she is the wrong person. It’s not fair to that person, and it’s not fair to you.

“Who are you dating?” “Do you think he’s the one?” “Have you looked at rings?” It’s easy to be seduced by the romance-dating-marriage narrative. We confer a lot of status and respect on people who are getting married—we buy them presents and consider them as more adult and more responsible.

But there’s nothing inherently more responsible or more admirable about being married. I’m thankful to be celebrating my 10th wedding anniversary this summer, but at the same time, I have a fair amount of friends whose marriages are ending—friends whose weddings we danced at, whose wedding cake we ate, whose rings we oohed-and-aahed over but that have been taken off fingers a long time ago.

Some people view marriage as the next step to happiness or grown-up life or some kind of legitimacy, and in their mad desire to be married, they overlook significant issues in the relationship.

Ask your friends, family members and mentors what they think of the person you’re dating and your relationship. Go through premarital counseling before you are engaged, because, really, engagement is largely about wedding planning, and it’s tough to see the flaws in a relationship clearly when you’re wearing a diamond and you have a deposit on an event space.

I’m kind of a broken record on this. My younger friends will tell you I say the same things over and over when they talk to me about love, things like, “He seems great—what’s the rush?” and, “Yes, I like her—give it a year.” And they’ve heard this one a million times: “Time is on your side.” Really, it is.

4. Give Your Best to Friends and Family

While twentysomethings can sometimes spend a little too much energy on dating and marriage, they probably spend too little energy on friendships and family. That girl you just met and now text 76 times a day probably won’t be a part of your life in 10 years, but the guys you lived with in college, if you keep investing in them, will be friends for a lifetime. Lots of people move around in their 20s, but even across the distance, make an effort to invest in the friendships that are important to you. Loyalty is no small thing, especially in a season during which so many other things are shifting.

Family is a tricky thing in your 20s—to learn how to be an adult out on your own but to also maintain a healthy relationship with your parents—but those relationships are really, really worth investing in. I have a new vantage point on this now that I’m a parent. When my parents momentarily forget I’m an adult, I remind myself that someday this little boy of ours will drive a car, get a job and buy a home. I know that even then it will be hard not to scrape his hair across his forehead or tell him his eyes are looking sleepy, and I give my parents a break for still seeing me as their little girl every once in a while.

5. Get Some Counseling

Twenty-five is also a great time to get into counseling if you haven’t already, or begin round two of counseling if it’s been a while. You might have just enough space from your parents to start digging around your childhood a little bit. Unravel the knots that keep you from living a healthy, whole life, and do it now, before any more time passes.

Some people believe emotional and psychological issues should be solved through traditional spiritual means—that prayer and pastoral guidance are all that’s necessary when facing issues of mental health. I disagree. We generally trust medical doctors to help us heal from physical ailments. We can and should trust counselors and therapists to help us resolve emotional and psychological issues. Many pastors have no training in counseling, and while they care deeply about what you’re facing, sometimes the best gift they can give you is a referral to a therapist who does have the education to help you.

Faith and counseling aren’t at odds with one another. Spiritual growth and emotional health are both part of God’s desire for us. Counseling—like time with a mentor, personal scriptural study, a small group experience and outside reading—can help you grow, and can help you connect more deeply with God.

So let your pastor do his or her thing, and let the person who has an advanced degree in mental health help you with yours.”

To read the rest of her article, visit Relevant Magazine.

Sometimes we get lost in the “muck and the mild”, forgetting…
where we’re standing
the beauty around us
each breath that gives us life
and that each encounter with a human being adds more beauty in experiencing life.

I was inspired to write this note after watching this beautifully-done video below: Reflection.
Please let me know what does this video inspire you to do…

Paper Fortress: 2009 – 2011 Reflection from Paper Fortress on Vimeo.

We often times lose ourselves in a relationship, or a job or a phase in our lives, losing the feeling of our feet on firm ground.

Do you wonder why you overcompensate?
Need the approval of others to be your own stamp of approval?
Catching moments where you’re asking yourself “Am I enough?”

Well, today I was able to connect with my inner goddess and she said “You are MORE than enough”. I wanted to share this with you and remember this in times when you are in self-doubt, in pain or feel catching yourself taking all the blame….be kind to yourself, heal and remember that

YOU ARE MORE THAN ENOUGH.

I was working at a financial firm in New York City with a bunch of very smart people, and I had a brilliant boss that I much admired. I went to my boss and told him I wanted to start a company selling books on the Internet. He took me on a long walk in Central Park, listened carefully to me, and finally said, “That sounds like a really good idea, but it would be an even better idea for someone who didn’t already have a good job.” That logic made some sense to me, and he convinced me to think about it for 48 hours before making a final decision. Seen in that light, it really was a difficult choice, but ultimately, I decided I had to give it a shot. I didn’t think I’d regret trying and failing. And I suspected I would always be haunted by a decision to not try at all. After much consideration, I took the less safe path to follow my passion, and I’m proud of that choice.

I will hazard a prediction. When you are 80 years old, and in a quiet moment of reflection narrating for only yourself the most personal version of your life story, the telling that will be most compact and meaningful will be the series of choices you have made. In the end, we are our choices. Build yourself a great story. Thank you and good luck! – JEFF BEZOZS (Founder of Amazon)

So the key advice here for geeks out there: your geekiness and intelligence makes you, who you are. When you allow yourself to be comfortable and connect genuinely with those around you, the true awesomeness comes out. This way, you don’t have to pretend to be somebody you’re not. You can just be the BEST you and that is ATTRACTIVE to chicks!

Now, a HOT CHICK is someone you find attractive. So keep in mind, this doesn’t mean any specific stereotype of what a “hot chick” is. Remember to vote today & everyday: http://sam-e.com/job/entries/284

The rain violated my mood as it poured down hard onto my windshield. I couldn’t see much ahead of me. Earlier in the day, I had a huge and ugly argument with the boyfriend that left me feeling down and these windshield wipers weren’t wiping the frown off my face. I was heading to the post office and when I took one step inside, I was greeted with a long, dreadful line. Yeah. It was one of those days.

It was finally my turn as I told the post office clerk that I was there to pick up my P.O. Box keys. He took a look at me and asked “How’s your day going?”. And instead of giving a generic “It’s fine”, I decided to be honest and say “I’m having a bad day.” Sad face.

He showed me surprise and concern and asked me what caused the bad day.
I replied, “Relationship stuff” and that’s when he said…

“You’re beautiful and whatever worry you have, it’ll wash over with a cup of coffee”, he said, compassionately. Then, he walked away to get my keys. While he was gone, I was smiling, thinking about how thoughtful he was. A stranger took some time out of his day to ….care. He returned with my keys and told me with a smile “I hope you feel better and remember that you’re beautiful”. I thanked him and told him that because of him, I already feel better.

A moment from a stranger can have such an impact on your mood. Just a moment. So take some time today to share a compliment or do something simple and kind for a stranger. It’ll put a smile on your face and you might be making a bigger impact than you think! And also remember that, we all experience “down days” and just remember to be open to beautiful moments that can bring you sunshine to brighten your mood!

Speaking of good mood! I wanted to share my GOOD MOOD TIP#3 below! Currently, I’m in top 15 and need to help to reach the top! Please vote & repost! Your simple vote click goes here: http://sam-e.com/job/entries/284

How did this impact you?

Paul is a dating coach on the East Coast, focusing on building the relationship between men & women through genuine connection. I like his philosophy in helping people and might be doing another fun interview soon.

Let me know what you think of the juicy advice we talked about and what questions you’d like us to answer next time.

How would the world be with more of your kindness? Let me know what you think of the video!