ASK VANAE FRIDAE:
Q. I recently became good friends with this girl…we have common interests, get along great, and have same outlook in almost everything in life. I like her a lot but she has a bf for 5yrs. Her bf has recently cheated on her with another girl. so this girl i like, slept with me. This is happening frequently now between us. I like her alot, she knows how i feel about her, but i want something more than just a booty-call. What should i do?
Booty Call
A. Dear Booty-call,
Sticky, sticky situation, ay?! What to do about this chick, who’s cheating on her cheating bf with you? Sounds like that girl is taking revenge on her bf by hooking up with you. This, my dear, is what I call a cross-fire. Not sure of what she’s really doing…You’re caught in the middle and it’s not a good place to be.
First of all, you are helping her cheat. Again, you are the OTHER MAN helping her cheat!
Second, it’s challenging moving from bootycall to a serious relationship, let alone that person suffering from being cheated on.
What you should do?
Tell her exactly what you want! You’ll know her true intentions and what she wants from her response. If she’s not on the same page…GET OUT OF THERE. As if your house was burning down! Save yourself because if you stay, you’ll just be a sideline guy who just got burnt BIG TIME!
V’stars, what do you think? What would you do?
Vanae’s tip of the dae: Be honest with yourself in what you want and tell the other person. Don’t be afraid to bring it up to the other person, because if they felt the same, they’ll want it too. If they don’t..Fuck ‘em. Your time is better spent, playing pool or spending time with someone who does feel the same! You deserve to be with someone who deserves to be with you.
You don’t kick a horse out of bed for eatting crackers. You kick a horse out of the bed because itz a horse.
Booty Call, you have to Open Your Eyes and see that you are Digging Yourself Into a Very Deep Hole of Deception you will have difficulty climbing out of unless you get out now.
Sounds like she is on the Re-Bound and using you as a Side-Kick whenever she needs to Temporarily Escape Her Ordeal.
Get out now my dear friend before your are Swept Under The Carpet Like a Piece of Trash.
As Vanae’s V-Stars we only desire the best for you and all others looking for advice here on Vanae’s site.
All The Best
I know of several, HEALTHY relationships that got started in such an unhealthy way. It does happen, so don’t kick yourself for being in this situation. I actually think it’s better to be in this situation than to have not been in it at all, despite her cheating, etc.
The thing is, now that you are in this situation and you have developed feelings, like Vanae said, it’s time to be a man, grow some balls, and be honest in asking for what you want. Tell her you have developed feelings for her and that you want a relationship with her. Be willing to walk away. The unfortunate reality is that good relationships can and do begin under these circumstances, but they only develop because someone took the risk and laid it on the line. In life, you have to play the cards you are dealt. Don’t mortgage your emotions, simply go all in with the chips you already have on the table.
Jonsi, I don’t normally comment on someone’s post but I totally disagree with your advice.
Firstly, she is cheating on her BF with Booty Call for the fact that her BF cheated on her. That in itself is quite disfunctional and quite obvious that she is no position to start a new relationship in her present state of mind.
I can guarantee you that the only one that will come out second-best in this scenario will be Booty Call.
The only way you can start a new relationship is by firstly giving yourself the time to heal from the previous bad relationship you experienced.
Although it is true good relationships do come out of bad relationships, this is only possible after that particular individual has healed emotionally and not beforehand.
In the case of Booty Call, the female involved is still emotionally involved with her current BF which will cause grief for Booty Call.
@Keith well said
“You don’t kick a horse out of bed for eatting crackers. You kick a horse out of the bed because itz a horse.”
Girlz not Horsez – plz
Myself,I say shop around for someone who isn’t a cheating slut…
But while shopping, have fun…. SAFE SEX my friend, she’s obviously not trust worthy.