ASK VANAE FRIDAE:
Q. I broke up with my gf of 4 years a couple weeks ago – things just didn’t work out…I kinda did a lot of what you mentioned, researched some sites and landed on Match…I’ve never ‘paid’ for an online dating site, I admit I’m a little reluctant. But it appears to be the only way to really start communicating with this girl. I understand you know more about this stuff, so the big question is: should I check it out? Have you found dating sites to be really worth it?
A. YES, GO FOR IT! As applied to most situations…YOU WON’T KNOW IF IT’S WORTH IT UNTIL YOU TRY IT. and trust me, the experience is always worth it in itself!
Your girl is talking from the success of my close couple friends who met online and my own personal experience (used dating sites for years!) =
Met wonderful people and some ‘not as wonderful’
Some developed into relationships, whether short-lived or long term
Some remained as great friends today
A few crazy date stories…(Like that one time…aha! if you’re good, I might share)
but MANY great memories.
So dating sites are a great way of meeting people, hence, I’m a big advocate. Now of course, meeting people from online is similar to meeting people in real life. It’s a process of initiating, getting to know people, some will be matches..some aren’t. Filtering: since it’s online, it’s easier for you to filter and narrow down to people you’re compatible with. So don’t worry about the ‘how do I know this person is not a robot behind a screen?’ or ‘What if I’m not attracted to them in real life?’
DIVE IN!
Due to mucho requests, I’m doing a review on different dating sites on the Vanae.com show this weekend!
On a personal awareness level:
Usually when you’re reluctant about anything, you need to ask yourself and understand ‘What’s limiting me?”
If it’s money…it’s worth the moolala to invest in experiences! You get to practice, trials and errors, meeting new people but ultimately…a potential significant other.
If it’s fear of rejection…take the ‘It’s OK’ approach when dealing with EGO so you kick that badboy to the curb. No need for ego. Not everyone is going to be your match and that’s ok. I’m sure you’ve been in the other shoes and turned people down before. Vanae’s tip of the dae: Many fishes in the sea, so don’t let 1 or 2 stop you from exploring what the beautiful ocean has to offer.
If it’s not knowing how to write a great profile or how to write to people…I totally got you covered! Here’s my video series A-Z on online dating…and if you want consulting on creating a killer profile, email me ayvanae@gmail.com
1. Online Dating 101- Why you should do dating sites
2. How to create an eye-catching profile
3. How to initiate online and get REAL DATES
So what are you waiting for? Go get ‘em V’stars!
Let me know how it goes!
What your experience with dating sites?
All of my experiences have been great. Although I only join free dating sites (I found they were a great place to meet friends as the pen pal sites at the time stunk). Also, joining cultural sites (Thailandfriends.com, Melindaspenpals.com) not only gave me lifelong friends, but I learned more about different cultures.
For dating inside my area, I would stick with plentyoffish, tagged, meetup etc.
VANAE:
I think dating sites ARE worth it for the same reasons you do. But will you PLEASE tell your lady friends who are 30 and over to stop posting profiles without recent pictures. If they don’t have the technology or can’t afford it, is one thing, but they should not worry what they look like.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I have some friends who like big girls, some like skinny girls; I like them in between. We all got different taste in women, (that’s also why we hang out together), but the one thing we ALL complain about is women not posting their pics. Like you ladies say “No money, No honey”? Well we say “No pics, No clicks”. Men are visual. I know you may not like it, but it is what it is.
Women narrow their options considerably with-out posting a RECENT photograph, its like fishing on a pole with no bait, on a rusty hook, in a murky sea. Once again, MEN ARE VISUAL, we like to SEE what we may be (quote/unquote) buying.
Very True! Most all ladies have No Self Confidence in them. But, They sure want a Guy with confidence. Whats wrong with Ladies starting the conversation first? Do all ladies have a chip on their shoulder as they are better than guys?
Glad to hear you guys and gals got a good experience with dating sites. Tried free ones and also commercial ones for a whole year and didn’t get view at all, zilch! Sent respectful and good IM’s to various potential femalae who were supposedly looking for a decent man and viewed my profile at times but never made the effort to respond. I understand people are busy but a years worth of time is sure more than enough time to meet someone and I got mostly major disappointments from these sites, well from my experience.
Once again, happy you guys work out ok. :\