“How do you feel about me?”…that is the question of doom!
You should already know deep down and if you don’t, then there may be a problem.
Asking this question makes you seem insecure and inferior. Yes, I said inferior- giving the upperhand. I’ve been asked this question of doom a few times before. And let me tell you…each time, it makes me cringe, especially when he asks way early on before I could develop any feelings yet. By asking this question, you put the other person in the hotspot and it can be uncomfortable.
OK, let’s be real here. It’s all about communication. If you can’t tell whether she/she is on the same page by your gut feeling or by his/her vibe, then there ways to find out besides asking that question!
1. Does she/he invite you to be part of his friends and family?
If not, then it’s either not that serious or it hasn’t gotten to that point yet. If he’s open about talking about friends and family happenings and she/he is hesitant to invite you…could possibly be, he/she is not on the same page as you.
2. Good ol’ ‘Straight talk’
Nothing beats a genuine conversation to be straight up. Instead of asking how they feel about you, ask them how they feel about moving to the next step. This draws attention off of you personally and more about the process, the step, the object.
Have you been asked that question before? How did it make you feel? How did you respond??
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Wow that’s really one enlightening advise for me! Used to do that once too often
Thanks for bringing this up and I’m sure it’ll help many people like me
Cheers
glad you find it useful Xgrind!
It’s uncomfortable question for both of them :/
Yes, good advice Vanae, well done!
like this writing format a lot better
bullet points and your personal touch. if a guy asked that, i’d call him a wuss and he’d be off my manly list next to gerard butler forever!
yeah, wusses are not too sexy. hello….burnette!
In my opinion, it’s okay if the couple are starters. Some may not have the confidence right away, especially when they just ended a relationship, and jumping to a new one. I guess it would sound awkward for people who have been dating for a while. I’ve come across this situation where I asked my girl if she loves me. I didn’t get the response I want, probably because she wanted me to figure it out myself. I was kind of confused the first time because she sounded passive and uncomfortable, thinking I didn’t say anything wrong. Maybe she wanted me to feel confident, or maybe she felt bad, feeling I don’t find her actions satisfying, like she’s not giving enough. But is that question really necessary? Of course it is, but I guess everyone should just keep the question to oneself.
Thanks for bringing this up! I’ve been finding a lot of answers from your website.